A previous life

My feelings on what my previous life was

A previous life?
Do you ever
Have an inkling
Of the person
You once were?
Have you lived before?

I certainly do
What was I?
I can tell
You all about
My previous self
Who I was

 The only child
Of a rich
Aristocrat, a lord
Perhaps. But the
Only heir, son
To castle's estates

I think this
Explains why I
In my current
Life, I'm messed
Up. The voices
They never left

All I can hope
is that I
Led a good life
Both in my
Current life, and
My previous life

On the death
Of the widower
Long respected lord
I became the
eccentric aristocrat that
Defines my being

I believe myself
To have been
A kind philanthropist
Giving my monies
To local schools
Money for all

I loved the
Arts to much
The servants said
Inviting poets, painters
And musicians alike
Paying their ways

We together traveled
Artists and me
The Grand Tour
Paris, Athens, Rome
Inspiration we said
Good-times were had


Visiting grand places
 Ancient and modern
Cities and alike
Monuments and mountains
 Indulging in culture
Seeing new arts

Upon the tour
The alcohol flowed
Hallucignatics were ideas
As we saw
Wonders of world
Inspiration we said

Upon returning home
I donated half
My diminishing funds
Building new schools
Helping the villagers
All good causes

I still paid
The expensive ways
Of my artistic
Friends, new family
In retrospect naive
But kind hearted

Enjoying the products
Of the tour
That came home
Fine wines drank
Special tobaccos smoked
On many days

But I locked
Myself far away
Atop the tallest
Tower of my
Ancient castle home
Alone, all alone

Overly confident about
My mediocre poetry
Believing myself artistic
Wasting away the
Last of my
Ancient families fortunes


I believe it
Was here, alone
Up that tower
My madness began
The voices started
Keeping me company

The walls began
Whining, in my
Head the doctors
Said. Then the
The walls began
Muttering and murmuring


Spying on me
Stealing ideas, controlling
My mind, I
Fought it, helped
By my friends
Within my mind

Secluded and alone
On the verge
Of coming bankruptcy
Only the friends
In my head
Keeping me company

Depression came with
Long awaited inspiration
The most beautiful
Of all my poetry
Said my friends
Within my head

I published it
At great expense
It flopped, unappreciated
My ancient families
 Fortune now gone
The castle sold

My families name
In great disgrace
A distant Aunt
Took me in
Giving me quarters
In her eaves

It was here
I spent my
Long final days
My artistic friends
Now just memories
Still I wrote

Then one day
The voices inside
My mind, they
Said. Now enough
End it all
So I did

Barely 30 years
Of age, A
Fast flowing river
The final bottle
Of fine wine
I did drink

The final special
Tobacco was smoked
Do it they
Said. So I
Did. Eyes shut.
Splash. I'm gone

Author's Note

Probably to long and rambly for most to read.

Reviews

[ANTO]

I used to think of this past life idea and fancied that I was related to an Egyptian architect. I never explored it in as much detail as you have here Phil and now Im sorry I didnt. I thoroughly enjoyed this entertaining 'ramble' through time. Thanks for sharing.

[phil]

There is always time to explore the past I believe.

Thank you very much for the kind review.