darken thoughts

Sitting here alone

It’s light outside

Hurts my eyes

 

I need my darkness

My little safe place

How can it be?

 

That the whole world

Is collapsing down upon me

It hurts me so

 

The whole world continues

While I’m stuck in this moment

Fighting to be free

 

The blue enclosing around me

Suffocating

 

Deafening

 

Blinding

I’m left defenseless

 

And the whole world could careless

So I’m going to end it

Yet I know ill regret it

But they won’t notice

 

No one will see

 

When I sects to exist.

Author's Note

so i am experimenting with new ways to set up poems. umm tell me what you think.

Reviews

[freelancejouster]

i feel like the format of the poem should make the words feel stronger or give the poem new meaning. this set up doesn't particularly do that. i do like the vibe from it, though.

also, sects? in the last line? isn't what you think it is or you made a typo, i believe.

[Ghost writer]

I think the poem is really good but the set up does make it harder to read

[Amanda]

I like the format, I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but the middle row seems like another poem inside your poem, which is really cool .

[WanderingJane]

I was a little concerned about the set up when I started, but I think it really flows easily and it really speaks to the mood of the poem.

[Mercy Fae]

The line spacing adds a great mood to the meaning of this poem. It can be read multiple ways.

[Eve Marie]

Love the format and what you've written. I can truly relate!

[Breach]

Hi!

Nicely written, a very dark ending to such a deep struggle.

Right at the very end you meant to say 'cease' I believe, instead of sects, change it when you get the chance please :)

[Daisy Marie]

I personally like the formatting of this poem. To me it felt like going down, like sinking into depression. I was also a little confused by the word "sects" in the last line, but that's it. I really enjoyed it. :)