Rainy Doom Days

What does a rainy day look like to you?

 Raindrops keep falling

collecting in small puddles

never to be seen.

 

Misty air creeps out

smothering every new soul

who cant hide themselves.

 

Temperatures; dropping

and water forms a hard shape

that is a weapon.

 

If you make a face

you shall start to feel remorse

but you wont know why.

 

Cruelty is NOW

So shut-up and listen NOW

or you will be squashed.

 

THE END is here NOW

Dont you have something to say?

Of couse NOT! THE END.

 

 

 

Author's Note

I would like to know your favourite stanza and I would like some advise on it, anything, plaese, not just "good wrie". PLEASE AND THANK YOU! :>PIn the beginning, it is easy to understand. As for the third stanza.

Temperatures; dropping

and water forms a hard shape

that is a weapon.

When it is raining, and the temperature begins to drop, the water freezes and forms large shunks of ice and hail, and when they fall fast enough they have been known to hirt people and kill some people, therefore, in that stanza, mother nature is taking control and getting revenge on people by using the hail and ice as a weapon. Now, you are probebly wondering why she is getting revenge. Well, she is getting revenge on people who kill her trees and plants and animals for no reason. Now, as for the next couple of stanza's.


If you make a face

you shall start to feel remorse

but you wont know why.



Cruelty is NOW

So shut-up and listen NOW

or you will be squashed

The first stanza, "if you make a face..." it is saying that nature has taken over and is king, so if you made a face at a king, you would begin to feel remorse because most of the ttime if you really did make a face at a king, they would have your head cut off or something. And the next stanza, "Cruelty is now........" it is saying that because you made a face (aka: killed animals for no reason...) you are going to be squashed (killed by hail and ice...) And as for the last stanza.

THE END is here NOW

Dont you have something to say?

Of couse NOT! THE END.



It is saying that the time of killing her plants and animakls at free will uis over and now you have to do as she says and if not she will squash you. Hope ya understand it better now! He he he he he he!

:>D

Reviews

[Heidi]

...um, I don't want to be mean, because I did really like the first three stanzas! They contained excellent imagery of a darkly introspective rainy day, but then I got lost...I'm not a hundred percent sure what you were trying to do here. I am tired though, and I think that maybe I just missed something I should have picked up on that gives the last half of the poem more coherency.

I guess I just didn't see what your aim was. Imagery? Check, done very well. Surrealism? Um, not so sure about that.

I guess just decide where you want to go, something to accent or a statement to make, because while a few lines may be pretty, the whole thing just doesn't make a lot of sense.

Then again, I may have missed the point. I hope I did, because this is a pretty effort!

[Blue Sky]

Rain can be a metaphor for 'sorrow' that not only becomes puddles
but a whole new body of water which would filterate through other gaps,
and it just keeps on flowing, replenishing the earth, though Rain is only
temporary, a time of healing takes place in the soul...and this all depends
too which culture one's thoughts hail from, I highly value rain, as for rain
becoming hard and becomes a weapon, it can merely signify starting over

Anyway this to me sounds like a devastion as hail, their are different
spirits of water, drops are beauty falling, a touch from the Creator or
'King' same diety, and when it becomes hard with same form of element...
it becomes a cold spirit denoting the nature or rage of the Creatore
with this piece, I pat you on the back for such a great trail of words
with great metaphors and imagery... even though the wording to the
last two stanza is kind of awkward, it brings an impact that makes one
to take heed, as though denoting... who can survive this...
and with a great ending...the end!

I love the way the images are conveyed in the first two, as though
being prepared for the temperature drop of the rain fall,
very keen and wonderfully presented... a real treat, thank you

(if i didn't make any sense..sorry!!)

[ANNA]

I get what your saying. I didn't know about The end part...The end of thr rain when it done.. You did some here and it was poetry. It doesn't have to make since. It what you feel and what was going on it that moment as your eyes blink back the raindrops..Beautiful !!!!

Much love n respect,
Anna

[Sarah]

This is a very creepy representation of the end of the world. I'm guessing it's about everyone freezing to death? o= Hey, it could happen. My favorite stanza is "Misty air creeps out / smothering every new soul / who cant hide themselves." Scary! I get this image of absolute chaos as people try desperately to hide from their inevitable fates! Bwahaha. XD Very cool. =)