Idiocy

I am sitting in my bathroom on the edge of the bathtub

My lips taste so salty

The liquid in my eyes makes me look like a vaguely human blob in the mirror.

Everything inside of me hurts

And that's when I decide I'll be stupid.

I find the cheap razor

And take out the blade

And dig it into my shoulder

Until tears spring to my eyes.

Finally relief.

The tightness in my chest eases up.

I finally breathe.

I sit there for a minute or two.

I throw the razor in the trash.

I rub my shoulder and think to myself,

"Idiot."

And go to look for my pocketknife.