Rose Colored glasses

This is a complete rewrite. I wrote this original poem ages ago when I was still new. Hope you enjoy the improved version.

Would someone please give me
Back my rose colored glasses
For I have just realized
He doesn't need me anymore
My fiction has faded to black

My longing out weighs his need
Even when we were lovers and friends
Without these spectacles; a world of gray
And saying goodbye is another end

I crave my rose colored glasses
So I can pretend to be happy
Delusionally shouting my love to the masses
Desperately seeking my heart to mend

Reward given to the finder
Of my precious rose colored glasses
For they transport me to my happy place
Allowing me to escape the pain
Oh wait, maybe I dropped them at his place

Author's Note

this is a bit sad and has a bit of sarcastic humor. I hope you like this one it is a little different from the others.

Reviews

[SpokenWord]

Maybe you left them with him so he could see the world through your eyes. The perception of the world changes with those glasses and I think many people have a pair of them on right now. I like having no rose colored glasses for some reason. Another great write by you to make us all think beyond the words.

[Millionth Muse]

Rose colored glasses...I have a tendancy to don them from time to time. LOL I like the emotion in this one, and the way that you stuck to your rhyme scheme, even though it's a difficult form.

Here are my suggestions on this one:
Would someone please give me
My beautiful rose colored glasses back
I have just realized he doesn't need me
And that is not fiction that is a simple fact (maybe—And that is not fiction, but simple fact)

He never needed me like I do him
Not when we were lover(s)(,) not now as friends
Without these glasses my worlds(world) is darkly dim
I don't want to say goodbye causing another silent end

I need my rose colored glasses
So I can sit back happy to pretend (maybe “and pretend” instead of “to”)
Love is great shouting it to the masses
Hoping deep inside my lonely heart will mend (maybe “while inside hoping my heart will mend”)

If you find them please return
(them) so I can have a twinkling smiley face (maybe take out “smiley”)
Ignoring the pain that make(s) my heart burn
I think I left them a few moments ago at his place. (maybe “…I think I left them at his place”)


Sorry for the book on this one...lol...it was a nice read!

[ashley]

I really like this. An interesting twist on something normally sad. Good job! :D

[Sean M. Addams]

a very cool piece liked the humor in this alot... overall i thought you did well on this kind of read like a story!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I ned a pair myself... this was quite funny actually, a great take on wanting to go back in time after a break up.

[clemon73]

I like this one.
"Without these glasses my worlds is darkly dim"
I need a pair of them glasses.

[Jenny Nelson]

It's a really good write. I like the idea of "rose colored glasses" as the theme. A touch of sarcasm and humor is usually a good way to deal with not so hot situations. I truly do like the whole feel of the piece. It all goes together really well. Very nice job!

[Coyote Poetry]

Those rose colored glasses are needed sometime. I like the poem. Told a good story. I like the sarcastic humor. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[MissWordSmith]

i like it but i thought you could do better. the idea is nice but a little stretched.
overall not bad though... it makes you want to read more but i didnt pay that much attention to it! It wasn't very attention grabbing thats all...

[Subjective Sanity]

I liked it but, I'm glad you mentioned that it was sarcastic. It sounded to cutesy compared to your other work but, sometimes it's therapeutic to go off your beaten path. Good job. : )

[Frantzuu]

This poem makes the reader want to keep reading, the way you end each stanza add a little mystery to the poem, you just can't wait to hear what the next one sounds like. awesome poem. I like it!!