Desert Moon Kisses The Memphis Sky

Reality smokes with

A swirling ethereal vision

In a realm of forgotten

Mocha caramel embrace

 

As sad drifting Blue’s notes

Die becoming frozen bliss

As the orgasmic Memphis

Evening turns into cold silence

 

Tomorrow’s clear dreams become

Yesterday’s opportunity

As the vacant desert moon

Kisses the dark Memphis sky

 

An exotic passion tastes

Of stale black bitter coffee

The burnt pungent odor swirls

Enveloping the alabaster soul

 

Dry heat collides with tears

Evaporating once pleasant hopes

A hand reaches out for yours

Pulled back by shadow’s distance

 

Tomorrow’s clear dreams become

Yesterday’s opportunity

Melodic misery singing

An intoxicating lullaby. 

Reviews

[Karli]

Absolute, true poetry. I love poetry like this. It's the kind of poetry English classes will have to study because it's so beautiful, but the students would actually enjoy it. I love every word put into this. I normally put my favorite part of a poem into a review, but I can't pick just one. I just love it all!

[Mauricio Montoya]

I love the choice of words that bring this piece together after all I've always said poetry is an art and these words blend to do just that.
Excellent write.

[STAR CHILD]

wow such power

[Chris]

I just wrote "Memphis Beat..." right here...

THAT is what I felt walking YOUR lines...
that I felt something - hard enough to write it down
says a lot 'bout you.

Take care,
Chris

[Desert Dreamer]

The title caught my eye and I wondered how two completely different places could fit in one poem and now I see, you have woven them together perfectly, especially in the lines,
"Dry heat collides with tears
Evaporating once pleasant hopes"
as if the desert has a mutual relationship with Memphis. This is beautiful!

[ScaryTrees]

love it
the second stanza really got me
(i procrastinate alot...lol)
really nice

[Dream Weaver]

Gorgeous piece of writing Kristina..
I really enjoy this so much!

[Kerry O'Connor]

Perhaps you feel like you don't have a natural flair for free verse, but I thought this poem worked very well. I like the Memphis setting, and the sense of loneliness you bring to the scene. I thought the 4th stanza was the strongest.

[The Perfectionist]

See? Free verse wasn't so hard, and that flowed a hell of a lot better than your poems usually do. One thing I'd change is to have "Evening" on the same line as "orgasmic Memphis". There's no reason to stop that line when you do, and it sounds much better to end on the noun rather than the adjective.

While I'm nitpicking, using the word Memphis twice in two stanzas seems...crowded somehow. Surely there's another locational word you could replace one with?

Anyway, quite enjoyed this, as far as poetry goes. Can't really comment on the imagery because that's not my thing, but I must admit I do love the fourth stanza. That's just brilliant wording. "exotic passion" next to "stale black bitter coffee". Love it.

[Ladysue]

I love the title of this piece and this flows with such beauty. your writing is flowing eloquently and has grown in leaps and bounds...wonderful work...

[Tina Kline]

Wow, this is truly beautiful, fantastic writing! Very impressive, I love it. Your skill shines bright in this enjoyable, wonderful poem.