untitled

I really don't know what to call this. A poem about my ex.

I look in the mirror
and what do I see
A lost, weary stranger
looking at me

A shadow, a memory
of what he once was
A remnant of innocence
broken by love

A boy once optimistic
now a vile reprobate
conceived by love
now an object of hate

The mirror now shattered
like his heart evermore
The heart cries it's love
As blood pools up on the floor.

echoes....
shadows....
the dark dismal fate

once pure....
now corrupted....
a bleeding object of hate

A mystery you were
I saw something in you
never once did I judge
like all others do

Became blinded by love
I thought you were her
the girl of my dreams
rumors I endured

You taught me some thing
that I had never done
telling me we're forever
that I Was the one

decieved....
convinced....
that our love was true

believing....
giving....
my heart only to you

Now I am picking up pieces
from the pain that you caused
Your actions that did this
Now increasing my flaws

I was cheated abandoned
and left all alone
I even agreed to the lies
to make me your own

I gave you my all
now I can't take it back
Now a heart on the floor
shattered bloody and cracked.

Author's Note

This is only my second. Poem. Ever. And it's about my heart. Enjoy

Reviews

[Hitchhiker]

Oh, I could tell it was about your heart. If this is only your second poem, and why would you say it if it wasn't true, you have a special talent. A talent which will grow as the years pass you by. The poem? It was hurtful to read, hearts take much abuse through its journey through this life.

[ReneeJ]

Sorry if you got broken by your ex. This was a well written poem. The highlight was that there was so much passion, I guess because it is true. I loved how you used your words and managed to express the pain. Please keep writing.

P.S. I would suggest using commas and full stops, just to let the reader know where to pause.

[BThomvanWart]

Honestly, anyone who's read at least a few poems would have enough intuition to pick up on the fact that this piece is personally written. Not to say you're wrong to label it for it's subject matter. Very relatable topic and the emotions seem to be pure and raw. I believe that to be the perfect combination for poetry, especially this form, in order to get across how you feel with almost no barriers or limitation. Kudos on your good work.

[Chris]

Poetry isn't a dirty word and poets aren't weak-kneed fools. Expressing ourselves is hard and having another person "get it" seems too much sometimes. You got through. Sure it has flaws but - you got through.

Take your time, catch a breath. Write some more, you do have a voice worth being heard.

[Konigin]

This is amazing Aiden! I felt the raw pain and loss while I read this. You have quite a way with words. :)

I do want to suggest a possible correction:

¨never once did I judge
like all the others do¨

I suggest taking out the ¨the¨ in that second line. It may flow a little better there. ^,^

[lovelife]

I am of course willing to be friends with u. you seem to be a very sincere nice person

[lovelife]

wow this is really good relatable. I am sorry that this had to happen to u