Beautiful Devastation

A horribly tragic poem about a violent carcrash riping apart a beautiful love. The despicable irony is that the love is what causes the crash.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oblivion

consumes my sight

 

Metal spears my corpse

 

A blink , A blink

Reads across my lap

 

"Beautiful baby, please be safe"

 

Flashes across the screen

Chaos rings

Through my ears

 

The sirens, the traffic, the panic

It's beautiful

 

I dip a finger

In a crimson pool

 

I enscribe on the window

My very last words

 

" I'll miss you Jamie"

 

It's my last creation

A work

Of beautiful devastation

Reviews

[Ama May Cooper]

Interesting, quite short but managed to get the whole story out so clearly and strongly that everything was brutally clear.
A very sad tale.... i think the last few lines capture the brutallity very well , its my last creation... the blood stained message to a lover left behind.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you liked it so much! I find that at times fewer words can be far more powerful than many

[The Refined Poet]

the irony is clearly demonstrated with perfect brevity. well crafted.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank you! I have to admitt I am an avid fan of irony!

[Corset]

We all have that someone we miss and wish for their well being, even when they are away from us, well written and expressed with love, great job!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx so much I rly tried to get ppl feeing and aware in this one! :-D

[Chris]

a lot of heart and ending wishes...

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

glad ya liked it

[Steven Cash]

Short but off the wall awesome. I mean, not awesome that someone died but the writing is amazing.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol I understand. And thanx! I was kind of disapointed cuz I wrote it for a contest but I didn't win anyways

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

sometimes I find that fewer words can have more power

[MusicLover]

Good work hannah. Keep it up :D

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx wa wa

[MusicLover]

shut up hann hann

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

no way!

[MusicLover]

yes do it now

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

no

[MusicLover]

YES

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

you cnt make me. plus im older so shut ur trap

[MusicLover]

no. Lets move this to a messege

[koty bell]

absolutely loved this almost reminded me of jesus take the wheel only theres death in this story absolutely loved this great write:)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx so much lol i just wrote it in like 3 minutes I wanted to enter a contest but didnt have any poems about crashes. thanx for the compliment lol I love that song!!

[koty bell]

no problem me too keep up the good work buddy:)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

will do :-)

[♥ Kinnixk]

Wow. I love this. Lots of emotion. Great job :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx lic! told u it was a pretty good one lol

[♥ Kinnixk]

^.^

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

plus im an emotional person lol so what did ypu expcect hahaha