Cold Feet

This is about a woman who is getting married but wasn't ready for it.

Clink goes the glass

Chandelier so clear

 

 

Reflecting pure propriety

And in glistening eyes

Pure fear

 

 

Diamonds on the fingers

Dresses all in lace

 

 

Hide the "I do" fear

Hidden in the face

 

 

Fear blushes up her cheeks

They say "Wedding bliss"

 

 

The devel contract is signed

With an after "I do" kiss

 

 

Reviews

[James William Dyer]

I like the rhyme scheme here and the metrical devices you employed. the line "they say "wedding bliss"", it seems to leap out from the syllable structure and yet doesn't express much. "HIDE THE ...FEAR.....IN THE FACE": I would reword this, maybe hide the I DO fear below the grave lips......i don't know, but it seems like the word HIDDEN is redundant here, having already implied that in the previous line. I like how you started the poem with the word clink.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I do appreciate your thought but I honestly don't think I'll change it I put it as a bit of reiteration to put empasis and I rly dnt think it amiss considering its the point of the poem after-all

[Coyote Poetry]

A very interesting poem. Hard to escape a planned wedding. Good description led reader to a surprise ending. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

No problem coyote! I'm glad you liked it :-)

[Hester Vane]

Very witty and clever. Great use of language.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx hester im glad you like it

[Pratik]

This is such a clever write!! The trepidation faced when stepping into a married life is well expressed in this piece.. A witty write that does justice to the topic and at the same time doesn't deny the humor to its readers..

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I like to find things I hvnt read about b4 and do interesting renditions of the subject. thanx for your compliment :-) It makes me happy to know you enjoyed it

[Heromen Selena]

OOOO. I got a chill with the devil contract part at the end. Nicely done!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx so much!! hahaha I aim to chill the bones :-P

[Heromen Selena]

:P

[Wakeofahero]

This is really well written, I liked the flow of this, and I do like the ending as well. Nice job :)!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

thanx W.H!! I'm glad you liked it! :-)

[Captivating Ink]

Unique idea, indeed.:)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

im glad you liked it!! :-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Emily, This is a very good little 'ditty' flows so nicely and just trips of the tongue. And what a fear it hides.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

im glad you liked it. :-) it was another spur of the moment piece.

[_]

So pretty! :D I loved the idea of the woman afraid to seal the deal. Wicked! :D

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

well so mnay women get cold feet nd I hv yet to see anyone write a poem about it lol

[Castonovia]

This is formed brilliantly, love the semblance espececially the contract sealed with a lethal cold feet kiss, very lyrical indeed :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx!! I wanted to get at how a bride can look pretty and blissful but really she's horrifued and can feel like she's dooming herself aka cold feet :-P

[Castonovia]

My pleasure... That feeling came across quite splendidly ;)