Erase Me

I've done what others have wanted 

For all of my life

And it has driven me to the bring of insanity

If I'm not already there

It rips into my heart

And it tears asunder my very soul

That what I am and what I can be 

Are not what is fine or will be for me

I will be their expectation

I will be of myself no relation

And as myself falls apart piece by piece

A deterioration of an art

And they still ask and order

And I still listen and comply

Until myself can't get any older

And I cry so easy so freely so fully tonight

And I sit, and I lay and I quiver

And I pray

To make them all leave me alone

The silence I grip tightly

Brings to me a peace so heavenly

I could die maybe I have

Already died

To make it all slip away 

Is what I dream everyday awake or asleep

It is a wish my heart continues to keep

An I continue

Doing what they will 

More than they could achieve 

More than they would have others believe

And still I am not what they have planned

I am still a failure under their command

I must compensate

For their many mistakes

Equality?

This is not equality

But I fear it may always be my destiny

TO have each part of me 

Fall, Fall,Fall

down further beneath my knees

And it goes further as my needs

Are neglected

As none of my hopes are resurrected 

I can't believe in good qualities of you!

Because I've been hurt by so many 

Who say "I love you."

Those damning lines 

Make me dreamer-blind

To man-kind

I only see that you are fake

And you hurt me everyday

You notice my numb eyes

And pretend their something else

An effect from somewhere else

Your a witch in denial

With a constant smile

To fool

Everyone you meet

And they believe you 

Even when you cheat

It's a cruel cruel world

And you belong in it

But I don't

I never have

God please take me back

I talk to you at night

And can feel your response 

Others think I'm spoiled and happy

But you have seen the truth

You can't speak to me

You can't let me see

But I feel you in my heart

The warmth meets every part

And I smile knowing you are there

And you know the truth of me and her

I'm shackled and unhappy

I think I'm rotting away

But you know the truth of myself yes me

SO maybe the next time I fall asleep

And you take me in your arms 

I will stay with you not her

Break these shackles these necrotic bonds

My God My savior my sanity

Please take me soon away from here

Before there isn't any left of me to see

Be quick my lord my saving grace

Take me quickly from this place

Before my spot is burned here 

And even your efforts won't erase it.

Reviews

[Cyndi Goodgame]

Okay! So I connected with the whole poem. I have been there, done that. Every line is true to me.
My favorite part- the passion I find in yelling this particular part out to the ones I have in mind...
"Because I've been hurt by so many
Who say "I love you."
Those damning lines
Make me dreamer-blind
To man-kind
I only see that you are fake
And you hurt me everyday
You notice my numb eyes
And pretend their something else
An effect from somewhere else
Your a witch in denial
With a constant smile
To fool
Everyone you meet
And they believe you
Even when you cheat
It's a cruel cruel world
And you belong in it"

I feel like I released my own tension reading your work. Thanks for the great piece. :)

[Akshay Rawal]

Sometimes writing your feelings out becomes necessary. Though a person may feel it very immature of himself writing his feelings out, and i know people who do not like to write their feelings out cause they dont want to sound stupid and they need time to think over, doing this is generally of great help. One may no longer adhere to what he's written, but this is the way to mature. Thanks.

[Samuel Jack]

Wow, you definatly needed to get that off your chest! I thought the composition might make it a little difficult to wade through, but you kept a good flow going.

Love the line "it's a cruel cruel world and you belong in it"

Keep up the good words, I'll do longer reviews soon, I've been off writerscafe for a while now, gotta get my analytical cortex firing again.

Gambatte!! (It's Japanese, but for what?)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Gambatte means good luck! :-) thank you by the way. That was a spur of the moment thing I'll probably go back later and separate it into stanzas an correct some spelling and grammatical flaws.