Accordingly

God rest your soul mom. I love you forever.

sitting at a sighing bedside

holding your succumbing hand

the very life slipping through your fingers as well as mine

and 'neath my favorite tree

i wept not for what was

but rather for what would no longer ever be

vacant and alone

accordingly

Author's Note

"We are ever dying to one world and being born into another." - Thoreau

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

Good job on writing tragedy in a way I think most of us will be, if not already, forced to think about. We begin our relationship with life the same way we begin our relationships with our loved ones, (hopefully) with optimism and the expectation of growth and continuation... but eventually, there is an inescapable inevitability. I think deep down inside of us all, we can empathize with each other on this if only subconsciously... and in that sense no one is truly alone to me. We are all in this together, we all 'win' the same exact prize. Everyone shares at least one thing in life, and that is death. Some 'win' a little sooner than others but, we shouldn't be too sad for long... we should celebrate the time that we had with the time that we have left before we 'win' our own prize.

[Pete]

ah, to contemplate mortality. the inevitability of death. i take little solace though in the fact that it will befall all of us eventually. seems some of us deserve it more and others less but who am i to judge (an entirely different matter). perhaps acceptance is a sign of maturity but never easy. we often see each other as invincible, permanent fixtures. thank you for the wonderful, intelligent share ... :)

[Davidgeo]

We all deserve it. If you were born, you deserve to die... that is the cost of living. I don't think of everything in terms of acceptance or rejection... sometimes you just gotta let things go as neutrally as possible. Even the most extreme wrongs... they dissolve, become nothing. Holding the grudge is paying for something you already bought in that case.

[Davidgeo]

Sorry... I went on there a little too long with my self righteousness. It's a sign of a good poem... way to go!!

[Pete]

good points ... :)

[Davidgeo]

I'm sorry about your mother by the way. That was the first thing I wanted to mention but I got caught up in my bs. My mother is getting older, I am anticipating the pain lately, and this poem was helpful.

[Pete]

thank you. as she was beginning to fail, I found myself thinking about her and the past more and more - probably nature's way of preparing us. it's very hard watching the people who raised you needing help themselves. we come into the world in diapers and go out the same way ... :)

[Davidgeo]

Ah yes, the theory of retrogenisis... once an adult, twice a child... or once in pants, twice in diapers... or... I don't know, there's a few more of them. It's good to have family that cares about you, imagine doing the ending completely on your own. Oh my god that is objectively terrifying.

[Davidgeo]

... i failed to show real sympathy in that reply. I apologize. I'm not totally devoid of empathy, it just hurts me a little bit more than it should to display so I always deflect. This is also how you describe an a*****e or a selfish jerk. I'm sorry and I'm trying to be a better human.

[emmajoygreen]

That beautiful picture, its vibrant colour embracing the desolate figure is so appropriate for your words, although some might not agree. Having lost siblings, parents and wonderful friends, am aware of how it feels to cling on to past happiness when feeling as if being swamped by grief. But you always find a way via your 'guide' and your own inner self to find a way.. whatever and however. Touching words, Pete.

[Pete]

thank you em. quite true as you say - we find a way. is too easy to focus on what has been lost. we are blessed in other ways if our eyes and hearts remain open. music, daily constitutionals with milo and nature continue to bless and offer their comfort. our creator never forsakes. what is taken with one hand is given abundantly with the other. i am a lucky man. life continues on no matter ... :)

"On the death of a friend, we should consider that the fates through confidence have devolved on us the task of a double living, that we have henceforth to fulfill the promise of our friend's life also, in our own, to the world." - Thoreau

[John the Baptist]

You have captured the central point of grief in this one. What pains us is not what was, but that which will no longer be. That's where the gaping hole lies.

[Pete]

yes, and that "gaping hole" as you say can feel like the grand canyon ... :)

[Ken Simm.]

I would love to believe in reincarnation. But I wonder if we will remember. And if we meet in the after we won't have any hormones to feel joy. Or sadness. This is a lovely poem.

[Pete]

the difficult questions.

"What right have I to grieve, who have not ceased to wonder? We feel at first as if some opportunities of kindness and sympathy were lost, but learn afterward that any pure grief is ample recompense for all. That is, if we are faithful; for a great grief is but sympathy with the soul that disposes events, and is as natural as the resin on Arabian trees. Only Nature has a right to grieve perpetually, for she only is innocent." - Thoreau

thank you kindly for sharing thoughts ... :)

[Ken Simm.]

Tolstoy said, “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”
Trouble is grief does not come all at once. It takes time as memories fade.

[Pete]

... those of us who dare "love strongly" suffer deeper wounds, a truth i know all too well ... :)

[John Sullivan]

Beautiful piece. I thought of my late Grandma while reading this. Short but sweet.

[Pete]

sweet like them. thanks john.

[Stella Armour]

Yes i can understand that what was is forever alive in your heart and memory and yet there will be no more added to it.
That is part of grief my friend, there is no comforting answer, i wish there were words to console you ...

[Pete]

so true. never realized how deep the hole would be. thanks stella ... :)

[Stella Armour]

.................. ♥

[Vol]

Pete,
A powerful poem a powerful wail into the darkness. It is a constant thing I think about. How to deal with the loss of such a chunk of soul all at once. It appears someone has died, and the powerful emotions that follow are like a weight measured in tons. Writing is the most effective therapy I know.
Vol

[Pete]

thank you vol. nothing can fill a unique. special void. a grand canyon of hurt ... :)

[Vol]

Sir!
I've learned there in nothing any one can do, nothing anyone can say... Just knowing there are people who care and wish you well is the best we can expect...

[willweb]

Yep, that was sad. I could feel the emptiness in this short but powerful poem. Bravo!

[Pete]

thanks ww. a real gut punch that nothing can ever prepare us for ... :)

[willweb]

But usually is something we can learn from. Some lessons are harder than others to accept.

[Pete]

quite true - to live is to learn ... :)

[Ookpik]

Ah I feel for you Pete - this says so much in so few words.

Some people are irreplaceable, don't think there's much more I could say.

Heavy burden man, my heart goes out to you.

-Ook

[Pete]

thank you ook. an immeasurable loss for sure ... :)

[Patricia Wedel]

Our Spirit lives on and we become a Fig that ripens in the Sun…. Or perhaps a Violinist that plays Debussy … quietly, Pat

[Pete]

yes indeed, a quiet consolation dearest pat. a part of her lives on in me for certain. thank you ... :)