Bumpy Wheel

It ain't round!

As usual, I grabbed the wrong grocery cart and went bumpity-bumpity down the aisle.

Maybe there's a wad of gum or something stuck to a wheel.

I bent down to see.

A jelly bean! For goodness sake! For the prices Piggly Wiggly charges, you'd think they could keep the jelly beans off the floor!

I cleaned the sticky mess from the wheel with a tissue and proceeded on.

Bump-bump, Bump-bump.

Now, what?

I bent down again to examine the infernal wheels.

A flat spot! How in the hell do grocery carts get flat spots on their wheels?

Spinning the left rear wheel and despising its imperfectness, I saw a foot with pink polished toenails, wearing a flip flop, just inches from my nose.

"Excuse me." said the foot's presumed owner.

I mumbled something and tried to scoot over.

"I'm sorry, sir; I just need to reach over you and get to the canned tomatoes."

Curses! Can't a guy fix his wheel?

What was the use? I stood up and sped off toward the cart corral.

I'll just get another damned cart!

Moments later, I pushed a smooth-rolling cart through the store. Nirvana, at last. My teeth unclenched and all was well.

Now, for those hotdogs and TV dinners.

I found the frozen foods and stood with lasagna in one hand and spaghetti with meat sauce in the other.

Hmm. This lasagna has a lot of cheese, but not much meat. This spaghetti has meat--well, it looks like meat--and no cheese.

In my confusion, I dropped the lasagna. As I reached down for it, I saw that foot again. Two of them, actually; both in flip flops, with pink polished toenails. I knew they needed more room and squeezed myself  over.

" I'm sorry, again. If you'll just move your cart back a little, so I can get to the frozen vegetables."

Good grief! Am I being punished for having a smooth rolling cart?  

I stood up and moved out of her way. She must've noticed my frozen food choices and said, "Craving Italian, are we?"

I had no choice but to look my tormentor in the face. "Uh, yeah."

God, is this Trish? She's my big "if"! Thirty years ago, we went on one date together and I was afraid to even hold her hand because she was so pretty! Oh, man, she's still a knockout!

Her big brown eyes caught mine and held them.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

The scared teen in me grunted, "I think so."

"Are you Buddy White, the one who drove that '55 Ford with whitewall tires and baby moon hubcaps?"

Any girl who'd remember those beautiful hubcaps deserves a reply. "Yeah, that's me."

Trish and I rolled our carts together down Piggly Wiggly aisles, while catching up on old times. After checkout, we went to her car and I loaded her groceries. We were both single again, and I really wanted to ask her out.

I told her, "Well, it sure is nice seeing you again."

She smiled and replied, "It's nice seeing you, too."

Things became awkward. The scaredy-cat in me wanted to run, but wheel-man stalled for time. I bent down low to eye her tires.

"You know, this left rear tire is wearing unevenly. My friend has a tire shop and I could... "

Trish put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm making Italian tonight. Would you like to come over?"

"Why... yes, yes, of course."

On the way back to my apartment, I may have hit a pothole and dented a rim. It bumps like hell, but who cares? I'll fix it Monday. Or maybe Tuesday.

 

 

Author's Note

Well, ya gotta write somethin'.

Reviews

[SweetNutmeg]

Haha, I was inspired to re-read this tonight, and by chance I was discussing Piggly Wiggly just this afternoon. Simply saying the name cheers me up. :) I used Piggly Wiggly in one of my stories too. A southerner tells northern friends the name of the store and they are incredulous. But I was incredulous when I went up to Philadelphia and saw an ACME grocery store. I expected to find a coyote with an anvil there, but no one up there understood my amusement. *sigh*

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks so much, my friend. I guess that cartoon changed the meaning of "Acme" forever. Like you, I always think of roadrunner when I hear the word.

[Valentine]

I had to laugh at this one, especially the mood you got in after she asked you over for dinner. I think even bean soup would have made you happy if she was serving it. Valentine

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you, Valentine. You might gather that I've spent some time at grocery stores.

[Beccy]

Wonderfully original story Samuel; just loved the whole thing from start to finish.

You have a great talent for bringing your characters to life.

Beccy.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you, Beccy. I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it.

[Relic]

I hate the carts that pull to the right. I've never met an old fling in a supermarket before. After this funny story, I'll keep my eyes open.

Always a pleasure Sam.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Tim. I've not come across one, either, but my radar stays on.

[barleygirl]

This is one of your best, that I've read so far! I love this story. I can feel the irritation & distraction in the bumping wheel at the beginning, then I'm loving the way you tied it back to bumpy wheels at the end. The discovery of pink toenails was most delightfully long & drawn-out, with the climbing anticipation done as artfully as a dance. Great job!

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you, my friend. I just try to make it interesting.

[B. Boileau]

You always manage to bring a smile to my face. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece for no particular reason. But I've come do discover with your stories you don't need one.

Thanks Sam I can always count on you for a great read.
bill

[Samuel Dickens]

It was my pleasure, Bill. Thank you for reading my little story of grocery store romance. (The possibility of romance, at least)

[Bill Diggs]

We can all relate to those @#*L!! grocery carts with square wheels. This is one "bump-in-the-road" I wouldn't mind experiencing, especially if it turned out to be S.K. and she still looked as good as she did 63 years ago. Your story made me smile.

[Samuel Dickens]

I'm happy to know it made you smile, Bill. I think about those cuties from long ago, too. Can we still find that youthful girl inside them that we once found so attractive?

[Willard Wells]

I really like this in many ways. Beyond the stories, I worked many years at a Piggly Wiggly. Your story is so, stop on and has great flow. I can't say it's my favorite of your work, because each time I read one, I like it.

You have me thinking of stories of my past in those stores. Well Done.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Will, you ol' Piggly Wiggly guy. For several years, that was the main grocery store in my little hometown.

[...]

Some bumps in your road are well deserved and wanted :) Funny how things are sometimes, huh? Luv ya Sam, this is one of my favorite stops...so much character in this place

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoy my simple tales.

[softlyfall]

I love this so much! Oh my goodness, I just love it. I don't even want to say why, or say what is so good about it or say what might be done to improve it or...
it is what it is and I love it.

[Samuel Dickens]

I'm very happy that you enjoyed it. Thank you.

[Woody]

or maybe Tuesday. depending on how things pan out haha. nice little one Sam. and the ending is open for conjecture.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Woody.