Losing It

another poem about how I lost my virginity

I ran willingly to his arms
knowing she was there
just the week before
let his oily scent enfold me
wrap myself in his arms,
his touch, his kiss
below the waist
too much, too soon
procrastinate "no"
until it’s too late

don’t listen to me
I silence my screams
pretend "no" means "yes"
and beg for more
awake from a daze
alone on the couch
smoke wafting above
hope already gone