Things You Should Never Say to Someone With an Anxiety Disorder

From personal experience and others'.

1) "A lot of people have it worse."

True, but as a good friend of mine (barleygirl) said "Don't compare other peoples' pain."

2)"You should try..."

If it's on the internet, we've tried it. Shut up.

3) "Everything will be alright."

This one is harder to explain. It can be helpful for people with very small anxiety problems, but don't even try it on people that are having full blown anxiety attacks,

4) "Just be happy!"

If your mother just died and I said this, would it help you? No. Some might think this is an extreme example but if you've dealt with anxiety, you'll probably think it's appropriate.

5) "It's all in your head."

Really?!? I had no idea!

6) "What do you have to be anxious about?"

This is a more general one that the one below so it fit most people. Most of the time anxiety comes without a warning and for no apparent reason.

7) "I know how you feel./I've been there before."

Sometimes, this helps. BUT only if you have actually been diagnosed before. Otherwise, you'll just piss them off even more.

8) "When are you going to get help?"

Some people can't afford a psychiatrist and psychologist or medication. And, they might already have help.

9) "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

Sometimes, we don't know what's wrong. And you probably won't be able to help anyways so there's no use in telling you.

10) "Stop ignoring me!"

I ignore people. I really do, but only because I like to be alone during my anxiety attacks. We are trying to deal with it, don't pester us.

11) "It's just a phase."

For some people, yes. Majority of people deal with anxiety their entire life.

12) "Here we go again."

You are a horrible person for saying this. There is no excuse to dismiss someone's pain or instability.

13) "Stop stressing/Calm down."

If I could, I would. Do you think I enjoy this?

14) "It's really not a big deal."

Once again, it goes along with don't compare peoples' pain. Also, I can't walk into a shopping mall, but I can go zip lining and bunji jumping. Everyone has their areas they struggle in.

15) "Have a drink."

I've never had this happen to me, but I have had other peoples' meds offered to me. That is how addictions start my friends. Every heard the quote "I drink to forget, but I always remember?" It's only a temporary fix.

16) "Is it me?"

Honestly, there are certain people I can't be around. Be prepared for multiple reactions: "yes", "of course not", "please just go away"

17) "I'm stressed out/anxious too."

Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh honey, just don't.

18) "Get over yourself."

This could mean two things: "Stop faking it" or "Deal with it." The first is horrible and not acceptable. The second, how about if you broke your ankle and I told you to deal with it and walk? You wouldn't be too happy either, now would you?

19) "Don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen."

Sometimes helpful, depends on the situation. Use it sparingly.

20) "Just don't think about it."

Ooops, did I accidentally trample your toes? Does it hurt? Oh, just don't think about it.

21) "What do you have to be stressed over? You're just a kid! You don't have worries!"

I get this one a lot. I think anyone stupid enough to say this, needs 

to think back to when they were a teenager. Everyone has worries, no matter what age they are.

22) "You're just an introvert."

This one is specifically for people with social anxiety. It's true that most of those people are introverts. But they usually aren't by choice. I was a complete extrovert until I went to high school.

23) "You're so dramatic."

Idiot. That's all I have to say.

24) "You worry too much."

I actually don't worry. I've never had a problem with it. That's why I have social anxiety. Big test tomorrow? I know I'm prepared. I don't worry. 

25) "You're right, that could happen, but it won't."

Don't agree with peoples' fears in any way. Just don't. You will make it a million times worse by saying this.

Author's Note

PS- I wrote this right after having a really long anxiety attack that lasted from about 1pm-9am. I apologize if it sounds really bitchy.

Reviews

[Jana Omar]

Thank you for sharing this; it's very relatable. I really like your 'style' of writing ;)

[William Liston]

For the layout, try this:
1.Quote that you should never say (perhaps in bold or italics)
Commentary about that quote (with no indent in paragraph)

Anyways, I enjoyed reading this, primarily because I like learning new ways to understand and/or approach people (or how not to do so). I hate it when people try to cheer me up (even though I'm usually not sad) and annoy me in the process. For example, one time after a band competition, I stood by myself when someone came up to me and said, "William, stop being all depressed and anti-social and go talk to someone." Now, I know she had good intentions, but seriously, that comment was very annoying. I usually ignore it when people say such things.

Anyways, I'm glad that you shared this to give your reader's some insight. It was very relatable and helpful : )

- William Liston

[Quinn W]

Thanks! I'll definitely try that layout.

[Quinn W]

Thank you so much! It looks so much better now.