How Anxiety Has Affected My Life

*Please read My Anxiety Story before this. It will make more sense then.*

1) I leave my house twice a week.

2) I rarely see my friends. I can go months not seeing anyone but family.

3) I wake up every morning with my heart racing and an overwhelming urge to puke. (Anxiety messes with my stomach.)

4) I rarely am able to travel despite the various opportunities I am given.

5) When my anxiety is really bad (usually during that time of the month) I can't eat and I puke a lot.

6) I can't go to loud or crowded places.

7) I have a 'depressed day' at least once a week, when I feel so irrelevant and like I'll never get better or have a 'normal' life.

8) If you've read My Anxiety Story, you know I have had to drop out of public high school and go to online school.

9) I have a lot of hobbies that I use to distract myself from my anxiety, which helps but is not a very healthy way of coping.

10) Even the smallest things can give me an anxiety attack, like a stomach ache or change of plans.

11) I can't watch movies or read books that mention mental health problems yet sometimes I get obsessed with them in order to feel like I'm not alone. They make me feel better for a few hours, but the next few days I feel like crap.

12) I have trouble staying asleep or waking up and not being able to fall back asleep.

13) I rarely try new things or go new places. When I was younger, I loved doing this when it came to traveling, exploring new cultures, or tasting new foods and going to new restaurants. 

14) I make sure everything in my life has order and my room is clean and organized.

15) I plan everything but the more I think about planing the more anxious I get. Spontaneity is helpful if it's the right day.

16) I have a strict schedule everyday and when it gets messed up, I have a huge anxiety attack.

17) My family relationships and friendships are very stretched. I don't tend to talk to them or hang out with them very often.

18) I often lose a lot of weight from the times when my anxiety is so bad that I can't eat for days. It takes me a long time to get the weight back and eat properly, not just bread and noodles (safe food).

19) I often have anxiety from worrying if I will have anxiety. It's an endless cycle.

Difference between an anxiety and panic attack: Panic attacks are unprovoked and severe, often leading to hospital visits from difficulty breathing and other symptoms. Anxiety attacks usually come from worrying about certain things, even though sometimes you aren't sure what you are worrying about. They typically are not as severe as panic attacks. I have personally never had to go to the hospital because of my disorder.

Something else I want to mention is that I am on a medication for my anxiety. I have had no side effects from it, as many say it can give you. I've never met anyone who has had side effects from it either. Do not be afraid to start medication if you think you need it. I can honestly say that if I had not gone on my medication, I would not be alive today. Meds along with therapy with my amazing psychologist have helped me so much and saved my life. Even though I still have bad days, like the day I am writing this, none of them compare to what I was going through before medication and therapy. Please seek help if you are going through anxiety or depression (or both like me). I know it can be embarrassing and you think no one will understand but you need to realize that if you don't seek help, it will get worse. You are your own biggest advocate and it's you who has to take the first step to getting help. Be brave.