The Never Ending Maze

This is what i felt after my breakup.

The Never Ending Maze

I kept walking to find a way out

challenges,Obstacles all the way round

and it kept on raining on me hard

all alone with a feeble heart

Darkness mounds on every step ahead

Eyes widely opened,heart skips beat

Trying to recover,don't wanna be dead

not a single ray of hope,no mirage

Time tries to finish me off,Off my feet

struggling for a pause,But the play goes on

The spirit of teenage heart surrender

to body and soul,Praying at last

Missing everything loosing all hopes

no one is here to lit up a hope

final prayers "OH GOD" 

I give up help me out save me

Tears rolling down and vanishes

the final hope,looking up whispering

name of GOD above all odds

fainted,Laying down as dead corpse

--R@fban

Author's Note

hoping to get the review and to correct myself

Reviews

[Nessly]

Nicely written. Emotional.

[Karmee]

I really enjoyed this write, I could feel the emotions

[Saran Sharavan]

There are most people in the world who don't agree the mistakes they do. Also they do mistakes because of some hatred that they felt in their life. But overcoming this hatred is an art which all human should learn. This is not achieved soon, rather it needs patience.
It seems you have felt some hatred too. This is one possible solution for you to overcome it. Just write away all your hatred through poems. When you get positive response then your hatred will wipe away from you. You will become pure. You are the only one who can see and hear your blackdark.
This rating I give you is for expressing your hatred.
Regards.

[Tessa Melendez]

Interesting read. Descriptive and different from most poems I have read. Only a couple errors to correct you put "loosing" in line 13. I believe it should be "losing" as in losing something not "loosing" as in releasing something. Also, you put "lit" in line 14. It should be "light". "Lit" is past tense of "light.

Otherwise, it was a very good poem.

[Sebastian Romero]

I enjoyed this very much! Keep on writing :) Loved the ending, and that feeling of losing hope, a very good poem!
If you want, I have a contest named Write, Write, Write! You could submit this poem if you want :) Here's the link: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Write%2C-Write%2C-Write%21/53134/
Also, I am starting a course, if you want to check that out! :) http://www.writerscafe.org/courses/A-Couple-of-Tips-of-How-to-Improve-Writing%3A-From-Me%2C-To-You/7997/

[R@fban]

Thanks Sebastian Romero..... happy to get your reviews and suggestion.........please do support me:)