Let me Live

To love is to live!

Let me live...
hearing every love song
you render for me.

Let me live...
in every emotion
I feel for you.

Let me live...
in tears of joy
by loving me eternally

Let me live...
By this love
I have for you.

Let me live...
around the clouds,
reaching dreams in life.

Let me live...
your hands in my hands
while kissing me passionately.

And let me live...
by your sweet smile
As I always smile at you.

Reviews

[Vanessa Whiteley]

As it stands this is a nice poem but I think it could be so much richer. While I like the repetition in this poem and the triplets and short lines work well, I think it would be even stronger if it was a little shorter. Perhaps five stanzas - less being more. For example

Let me live...
in every emotion
I feel for you.

And

Let me live...
By this love
I have for you.

Are very similar in what they express. Moreover, the concrete detail you give the poem in being able to hear every love song is nice. Perhaps if you were to play with the senses a little more the sight, sound, taste, touch, and scent, associated with the loved one. For example, your hand in mine would be nice if it was to focus on that sense of touch. Of course these are just my ideas to take or leave as you so choose.

[Lauren Xena Campbell]

I enjoyed the short stanza and the repetition; it really works well to get your point across. As for the rest of the poem I really enjoyed it! Great job!

[Brenda Sue]

Sweet, pure, romantic and beautiful. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Karen Raquepo]

Thanks, Vanessa Whiteley, I really appreciate your comments.I'm learning!

[Nessa]

I like the repetitiveness also. Good job on this one =].

[Lady Of Darkness]

I like the repetitiveness in the poem.
Its lovely written. Well done