In flight

In flight

A Story by rmarrwrites
"

One dream revisits you throughout your life, growing alongside you.

"

Hope you enjoy this!

At six years old, you wake up early before your parents one morning. You tiptoe to the bedroom door, and cautiously turn the knob, pulling it towards you. Slipping through the gap, you walk towards the middle of the hallway.


You concentrate, and slowly start to float a foot off the ground. You tilt forward, hovering parallel to the floor.


Finally, you glide down the carpeted staircase, building up terrific speed. Your face splits into a smile as you roam around the dimly lit house. Still finding your balance, you’re careful not to knock your knees on the floor.


You wake to sunlight streaming through your blinds. You try again to float, before you remember the constant heaviness of your limbs. Right. You shrug a tiny shoulder, and get up to start your day.


---


The dream comes to you again and again, and each time you become more practiced. You float often around the garden, skimming the morning dew with your fingertips. You can gradually float higher and higher with concentration.


---


There are no more dreams for several years as a teenager. You reminisce fondly about the product of your childhood imagination. On sunny days, you look to the sky, and imagine joining the birds in flight.


---


You’re grown now. Well, at least more so than before. You’re at a family gathering in an old, disused dance hall. 


Loitering off to the side, you float lazily to the ceiling, examining the wooden beams. No surprise shows on your relatives’ faces as they continue their idle chatter.


“So,” asks your uncle from the ground, “how’s school?”


“My English class is really fun,” you reply, as you drift down in front of him.


---


You don’t dream again for a while, well into your adult years. That’s alright. You know with inexplicable certainty it will return. 


---


You’re older, an independent adult. You’re driving towards a forest on a sunny weekend. Classic rock blares on the radio of your rusty old beater. When you arrive at the edge of the woods, you get out and hike to your usual clearing. 


You set up your tent, then rise up into the sky. You breathe in the crisp air as it rushes towards your face. You soar freely over the treetops, laughing when a protective finch chirps angrily at you from its high-built nest. 


In the evening, you light a campfire. You gaze at the stars, and reach a hand towards the sky.


---


The next morning, you wake up and go to work. Your coworker looks up at you as you pass by his desk.


“Hey! How are you doing?”


You grin. “Pretty well, you?”


When you walk away, there is a distinct lightness to your step.


Today is going to be a good day.




Thanks for reading!


© 2022 rmarrwrites


Author's Note

rmarrwrites
Any and all feedback welcome and appreciated. Based on my only recurring dream, staying faithful to the source material as I remember it. I hope I was able to share that well with you.

I know using second person POV can sometimes be a pretentious decision for new writers, but I felt that it was appropriate for this story. Let me know if you think I should change it.

Image: https://free-images.com/display/blue_sky_sunny_weather.html

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Featured Review

Hey rmarr, I like your use of 2nd person here and don't find it pretentious at all. You rarely see anything written this way, and it always fascinates me to see how different people try to navigate it.

I tend to use 2nd person rhetorically, generally when I'm trying to illustrate a point and in a manner that's relatable to either the listener or the reader, and I find it's one of those perspectives that I'll habitually alternate into and out of.

e.g. (this is somewhat recent):

It feels the way *one* does
Were they to’ve wiped their mouth with a luxury napkin,
One made from something lavish, and opulent -
Like gold threaded silk
Or curated satin -

And then, almost without thinking,
Careless to the degree
Of needlessness and
Without so much as an afterthought,

*You* just throw
All that decadence,
All that the napkin symbolizes,
Effortlessly, into the wind...


I alternate here between addressing a rhetorical 'one' and then transition into 'you' - which is done to encourage transposition between the reader and the hypothetical (get the reader to see themselves in that situation).

I think the point of 2nd is to almost provoke the reader into placing themselves amidst the narrative that you're describing - in this case a recurring dream juxtaposed with the stages of your life - and I would try to keep that dynamic in mind were you to revisit this.

You want the reader to understand your dream, but you also want them to be able to see their own lives through the directives that you're providing to them.

It's probably a real challenge, I wouldn't really know as I haven't swung the bat at it (though if I had to, I'd probably try to do it through an epistolary) but I definitely commend you for giving it a shot and have enjoyed what you've shared here. Plus, it's nice to see another British Columbian on the site.

Thanks for posting, and I hope you don't mind a long winded response. :)

-Ook

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

rmarrwrites

6 Months Ago

Thank you! I should add that while the dreams were based on real dreams, I attributed them to a "cha.. read more
Ookpik

6 Months Ago

Understood, and probably a good approach. And hey, I know that area - used to compete as a wrestler .. read more



Reviews

I liked your approach, I was expecting something spooky because of the title and the summary yet what was delivered was calming slice of life. I know how hard it is to write out dreams as most of my writing has been based on my own crazy dreams. Have you thought about searching what it means to dream about flying? maybe you could tap into that and add a little more to the end because i see potential for this line "When you walk away, there is a distinct lightness to your step." I take it as the dream reflecting positivelly into the awake world which is exactly what it should do. This was a very pleasant read tho so keep it up!

Posted 6 Months Ago


Hey rmarr, I like your use of 2nd person here and don't find it pretentious at all. You rarely see anything written this way, and it always fascinates me to see how different people try to navigate it.

I tend to use 2nd person rhetorically, generally when I'm trying to illustrate a point and in a manner that's relatable to either the listener or the reader, and I find it's one of those perspectives that I'll habitually alternate into and out of.

e.g. (this is somewhat recent):

It feels the way *one* does
Were they to’ve wiped their mouth with a luxury napkin,
One made from something lavish, and opulent -
Like gold threaded silk
Or curated satin -

And then, almost without thinking,
Careless to the degree
Of needlessness and
Without so much as an afterthought,

*You* just throw
All that decadence,
All that the napkin symbolizes,
Effortlessly, into the wind...


I alternate here between addressing a rhetorical 'one' and then transition into 'you' - which is done to encourage transposition between the reader and the hypothetical (get the reader to see themselves in that situation).

I think the point of 2nd is to almost provoke the reader into placing themselves amidst the narrative that you're describing - in this case a recurring dream juxtaposed with the stages of your life - and I would try to keep that dynamic in mind were you to revisit this.

You want the reader to understand your dream, but you also want them to be able to see their own lives through the directives that you're providing to them.

It's probably a real challenge, I wouldn't really know as I haven't swung the bat at it (though if I had to, I'd probably try to do it through an epistolary) but I definitely commend you for giving it a shot and have enjoyed what you've shared here. Plus, it's nice to see another British Columbian on the site.

Thanks for posting, and I hope you don't mind a long winded response. :)

-Ook

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

rmarrwrites

6 Months Ago

Thank you! I should add that while the dreams were based on real dreams, I attributed them to a "cha.. read more
Ookpik

6 Months Ago

Understood, and probably a good approach. And hey, I know that area - used to compete as a wrestler .. read more

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Added on March 8, 2022
Last Updated on March 8, 2022
Tags: fantasy, fiction, life, story, short story

Author

rmarrwrites
rmarrwrites

British Columbia, Canada



About
New. Canadian. She/her Feel free to send me a reading request if you want me to look over something. I can't promise I always will if I get busy, but I'll do my best. more..

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