The Modern Day Legend of Hawkeye O’Leary

A tribute to a friend, and his uneventful days of working at the local supermarket.

The Modern Day Legend of Hawkeye O’Leary

Began it did in the grocery store

One rainy day, in 2004

The store, nearly empty

Aside from destruction

Those who were there

Remember not but obstruction

While most the employees

Were standing disputing,

Whose lunch-break it was not

A burglar stood looting

Their registers, stealing the lot

But Hawkeye O’Leary

One heck of a daring employee

Without so much as a thought

Lashed out at the burglar

Throwing a bagel at the criminal’s head

Throwing it like a ninja star

The bagel hit the burglar,

And down he went, unconscious

Not dead

He hit the floor

Just as the cops, showed up at the door

None could believe

Good ole Hawkeye O’Leary

Was the hero of the store that day

So instead they awarded

The good ole employee award to Hannah-May

Who wasn't as sharp as a butter knife