my daughter's applause

she plays mama's belly like a drum

and giggles at the sound.

"that's where you began,"

i tell her

we were once one.

 

she scampers toward the filthy boots by the door

and laughs when i tell her no

claps her hands while the snow falls

gently, now, i tell her.

mama's more fragile than you seem to think.

 

i'd rather not get poked in the eye

or have my new jeans smeared with

teething biscuit, gummy hands and urps

but i could care less.

i am not careless

with the most precious gift

god ever granted

a poor wretch like me.

 

"more!" she slaps the talbe

blows oatmeal/blueberry blubbles

and babbles for all she's worth

she grabs my cell phone

holds it to her ear and says dadadada

and it breaks my heart every time.

she saves the mamamamas for when she's sleepy.

 

it's nice just the two of us,

my daughter and i.

this year has soared beyond

any reality i could have dreamt

or nightmared...

 

my baby girl is nearly one.

sometimes in my sleep i still feel her squirm

and kick inside

sometimes i wish i could take her back to my womb,

let her come of her own accord

and slam the door on the

business of being born.

 

sometimes i wish i could go back inside

and start over.

but every step on this crazy journey

has led me to this moment

this joy

my daughter's beautiful grin

and happily clapping hands.

Reviews

[Jim Parson]

This is beautiful. Every parent can feel it but few can say it as beautifully as you have right here. Well done.