Live, love and Life

A Chapter by Rere020616

Hurting, Loving and Accepting

This year is a different year, I have my longtime partner with me, she walk by and have that sweet smile, and we’ve been together for so long. It is about 7 years and it seems that their something wrong. A lot of my colleagues told me that I am blinded about love. I came to think of it how can they said that if they all knew we've been together that long. Now we are both busy in our respective work. She work at a store my aunt owned. I work as a government employee at the same time I am a part time teacher at one of the colleges in our town.

Regular day have past, we live in same house, we are at my place she was comfortable with my family, we are both very comfortable at each other. I trust her a lot never doubted her. Find me surprising, she kept on telling me that there is someone a friend that she communicating so often lately. But I never question her. You can call me crazy but I trusted her with all my heart. I guess they are right, I was blinded in love.

Let me share you something, that you cannot tell why I am blinded with love. I am a born lesbian, at the age of 5 or 6 I know what I like, the first women I admired a lot is Ms. Mikee Cojuangco not to mention she is very talented athletic and oh my so beautiful. I love to wear short, I and my mother always had conflict on the way I dressed. But my father threated me as his junior. I was accepted as a tomboy in the family.

But for you to know it is not that easy. Let us skip that part. To continue, and make things more interesting, I start teaching in colleges, focuses on my lessons, and there this girl, a student of mine. She has a bright face, s shining smile and an over confident laugh. It annoys me sometimes in a good way looking at her. At night when my class ended, I rush to the store where my partner was working. I will wait for her almost an hour or two. Going home, she was the same as usual, we talk we laugh and we feel so comfortable. Then her phone rings, she rush to answer I was pretending that I was asleep. She move out on our room and entertain that call. I fell asleep. In the morning I don’t have the courage to ask about the phone call. And it continues, it grows, now she has plans, she ask me if she could rent an apartment not to live with me anymore, she had a lot of reasons. We had a big fight, the first of all. We usually argue but not that one. That she ask of space. She ask to be on her on. Then here I am, agreed to her, I am the one who searches for her boarding house. So great right. Laugh at me if you want. Then weeks have past. We are not in the same roof now, I go home late, I was so confuse in our sudden changes. For all those years I thought I am included in her plans. But now I don’t know anymore. I was so lost. I cried, even I consulted with my colleagues regarding our situation and what I feel. My parents are more worried about me. I know in their eyes waiting for my explanation. As if all questions are there. I tried to focus in my classes, I have a student to attend with. After my 8 hours’ work at the Local Government Unit, I rush at the school every afternoon. I have my classes at 5:30 pm and on Saturdays.

At school, I can forget what my heart status for now. I am hurting inside I know, and sometimes I was that irritable in my class. I frequently get irritated, I scolded them with that smallest reasons. Now exams is fast approaching, I challenge my student if there is someone who can perfect my exam I will treat you ice cream. Doing this to make them feel okay, because I was so harsh to them this past weeks. Exam comes, end up my class early. Never had a proper time with partner for a long time, she was busy as well as me. I try to visit her at the store, but as I enter the store, I feel that the eyes of her coworkers have something to tell, but I ignored it. I talk to her as always, I accompany her at her boarding house. We spend the night together but, not the usual. We just talk, ask her what her plans are, she was planning to work abroad. That she want to have a family at age of 28, and I was down folded, I don’t think I heard it right? I am not belong to her plans anymore. Dreaming to have a family?

That long talk night, made me to ponder. It opens up my eyes, here I am realizing that she might leave me, she decided once and no doubt she can do it again. She was brave enough to do so.

----- to be continued.