Material Boy

Material Boy

A Story by Cahjli Symes

A short story about a male prostitute.


material boy

Once upon a time there was a guy name Jonny. Jonny one day was on his way to work at Petsmart; when suddenly, three guys in bunny mask pull over, cover Jonny's face with a black bag and beat him until he see's stars. So anyway, what's Jonny's background you may ask? Well that's quite simple. The reason for him being knocked the f**k out and black bagged was because he stole the dog of some Mexican drug lord known as "El Plaka" whose ex-wife he's trying to hook up with. Needless to say the couples divorce papers aren't completely finalized. But does Jonny give a f**k? F**k no. Why? "Cause I f**k b*****s" said Jonny calmly to the reader. So anyway, Jonny on the side is also a down on his luck male prostitute who has relations with overweight soccer moms; since you know, Petsmart isn't enough to cover his cocaine and porn addiction.

Jonny is a Caucasian young adult, from Essex who's HIV positive due to being paid to perform scat fetishes with wealthy foreigners. So pretty much Jonny does the dirty work other male prostitutes his age wouldn't even dare to consider. Anyway, Jonny wakes up in a basement handcuffed naked to a seat-less chair. There’s roaches crawling everywhere and it smells like a three dollar hooker’s rectum. Jonny looks next to him and sees a guy with a Fox McCloud mask on, also naked, covered in wounds and blood handcuffed to a seat-less chair. "Where....the f**k am I?" shouted Jonny. "Hey shut the f**k up they can hear us!" whispers the guy with the Fox McCloud mask. "Hey don't you f*****g tell me to shut the f**k up m**********r, I have my nutsack dangling above a bowl of f*****g rats!" says Jonny. Suddenly the men in the bunny mask walk into the basement. One of the men examines Jonny and then Fox McCloud. "Where's the f*****g money?" says the guy in the bunny mask calmly to Fox. "Man I don't know where your money is I swear to--" One of the thugs punches him in the face with a pair of steel-ball tactical gloves, spitting out three sets of teeth. The guy in a bunny mask takes out a cell phone and makes a call. "You're going to tell me where the f**k our money is." says the guy in the bunny mask.

"Bite me f****t!" said Fox.

"oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" said the instigating Jonny.

"Man you sure look like a b***h right now." says Jonny.

One of the thugs cuts Jonny's thigh and pours salt into the wound. Jonny begins to scream in pain. "YOU'RE NEXT M**********R! SHUT THE F**K UP!" enraged the guy in the bunny mask, hanging up his phone. Another thug then shoves the barrel of his gun down in Jonny's mouth. "If he talks again paint the room." Says guy in bunny mask. The thug then says "But El Plaka said-" "F**K WHAT HE SAID! [To fox] Look at me. You’re not going to tell me where the money is.....okay." Says bunny. Bunny takes Fox out of his chair and lays his body flat on the floor. "Now, you stole money from my employers. My employers are oh so very powerful men. Powerful enough to make you and your whole f****n' bloodline famous being on the first 48. But here's the reality check m**********r, you stole my employer’s money and when you steal my employer’s steal my money. Aye Donnie [thug] tell'em what I did with the last mooch who stole from me". "He banged his nutsack on a stove" says Donnie. "With a spike f****n' bat." says bunny. Bunny now proceeds to slowly unscrew his a/c vent and simultaneous squeaking is heard.

"The only reason you don't have duct tape on is because I wanna' hear you talk s**t. It makes me get to know more about my assignment as I'm on the job. You know, usually when you do work for the cartels and you talk s**t they stick your own f*****g dick in your mouth. You see, now that's some gay s**t. Gangster as f**k, yes; Enjoyable? Well...that's a topic of debate. You see I'm old fashion and-" "Dude cut the s**t and just knock me out already. Ugh, boring! Says Jonny. "Who the f**k does this guy think he is?!" says Donnie. "Didn't I tell you to stick a gun in his f*****g mouth?!" says bunny. Donnie shoves his gun into Jonny's mouth as he waits for a final order. The other thug starts walking upstairs. "Aye, I'll be back in ten?" said the other thug. "What the f**k why?!" said Donnie. "Cause I gotta’ take a piss man." said the other thug. "I'm about to f*****g murder someone and you decide to take a piss now of all times?!" exclaimed Bunny. "Well excuse-the-f**k-me for not having a magical bladder made of f*****g chrome!" said the thug. Donnie shouts "WHO THE F**K TAKES A TEN MINUTE PISS?!". Bunny is getting super agitated at the situation as the two thugs exchanges insults "Leave this room and drop a single pint of your DNA and I'll blow a hole the size of f*****g Pluto in your face." Says bunny. Suddenly Fox starts crying like a baby in the background. The thug then stairs into bunny's soul with wholesome intent "Man eat a dick!". The thug then flips off bunny and proceeds to walk up the stairs. Bunny and Donnie then awkwardly stare at each other for five seconds.

"Please excuse me for bringing my work at home. I'm assuming the only way you’re going to talk isn't by me leaving life altering lacerations. You seem pretty f*****g hard headed too. But it's okay. I'll ask again because you're special." says bunny unscrewing the final bolt off the a/c vent. Suddenly a sea of rats riot out of the vent and starts running towards Fox's genitals and starts eating him alive. Fox starts to scream for his dear life. Fox then screams that the money was blown off on prostitutes and multiple drugs like heroin, xanax, and cocaine. Bunny says nothing after and watches him get eaten alive for five straight minutes. Now Bunny moves on to Jonny. "Now I was told to cut off your dick but I guess I have to snip your tongue too aye gorgeous?". "Are you flirting with me?" says the disturbed Jonny. Bunny shakes his head, chuckling softly "Oh Jonny if I was flirting with you, you wouldn't be awake....or breathing.". "The f***s your deal bro?" said Jonny. Donnie finishes his bottle of corona and smashes it into Jonny's face. "Where's the dog?" said Bunny calmly. "At that chick's house!" quickly exclaims "Really?" says Bunny. "Yeah dude. The f**k am I doing with a dog? I sleep with f*****g fatass soccer moms for a living." says Jonny. "Well I mean you could sell it to either feed your drug addiction or f**k unsatisfied right wing republicans." says bunny. "And you think a part of my job title is to ask their political affiliation? Dude this dick don't discriminate, if the cash is good then so is the snatch.".

"You disgust me as a human being." says Bunny. "Yeah and it tickles my boner to have a dungeon in my basement." says Jonny sarcastically. Suddenly gunshots and movement are heard upstairs.

Bunny shouting to Donnie "What the f**k was that?!" "Gunshots obviously, I thought you guys are f*****g professionals." says Jonny. "IT'S THE POLICE, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! WE HAVE THE PERIMETER SURROUNDED!" coming from upstairs as more gunfire happens. "S**t Doug, what the f**k are we gonna' do!?" says Donnie. Bunny [Doug] shoots Donnie in the throat then in the face. Jonny starts screaming "WHAT THE F**K DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU F*****G WEIRDO?!" Doug pistol whips Jonny and takes him out of his chair. "I'm cutting all loose ends" says Doug. He then uses Jonny's nude body as a human shield, armed with a desert eagle and proceeds to slowly creep up the stairs. "Say another word and I'll blow your f*****g head off." whispered Doug pressing his heated gun barrel onto Jonny's temple. As Doug gets upstairs he's suddenly met with police. "PUT THE F*****G GUN DOWN RIGHT NOW! Screaming the swat team. "sshhh-shhh SHUT THE F**K UP OR I'LL BLOW THIS FUCKBOY'S HEAD OFF!" screamed Doug spazzing out in rage. "PUT YOUR F*****G GUNS DOWN MAN THIS M**********R IS CRAZY YO!" panicked Jonny. "PUT THE F*****G WEAPON DOWN NOW!!" screamed the swat team again. "I AIN'T F*****G AROUND M***********S!" screamed Doug. "HE'S NOT F*****G AROUND M***********S, I SURE AS F**K AM NOT READY TO DIE HANDCUFFED BUTT A*S NAKED WITH SOME F*****G CREEP RESTING ON ME!!"

"F**k this s**t" says Doug as he proceeds to shoot at the team killing three men but then is shot down along with Jonny in a hail of bullets. Both Doug and Jonny was shot so many times they had more holes in there body than Swiss cheese. The two are both ridden in bullet holes from head to toe. The swat team looks over the dead bodies of Doug and Jonny. "Aw f**k, we killed another hostage" says one officer. "AGAIN?!" says another. "Oh relax, we'll' just say he did it and you guys will be heroes in the paper by tomorrow morning." says the captain.

the end.

© 2015 Cahjli Symes

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register


I could not even finish this.

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's a good story. Just be careful of repeating certain words
We are all guilty of that x

Posted 9 Years Ago

Share This
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


2 Reviews
Added on September 1, 2014
Last Updated on October 15, 2015
Tags: crime, satire, comedy, drugs, dark comedy, new york


Cahjli Symes
Cahjli Symes

Cloud City, FL

Hi my name is Cahjli and I write poems,screenplays and lyrics. Hope you enjoy :D more..