chasing the better me

A re-post; originally posted my first day on WC, only once reviewed. this is an exercise in self-examination, seeking to better myself

flying like madness and reaching for

avoidance, to be worn like lipstick masks.

shooing away the hate filled thoughts

(or maybe not).

a guidebook, filled with tear-soaked snapshots,

scraps of crowded imagery;

reminders of a shuttered past...

a fool’s errand?

that’s mine, and all messes made:

my toxic audacity, you know,

my majestic paradigm.

my curse.

 

well-intended passion plays

travel roads to thrones of fire and ice;

to be exacting and annoying?

it does seem  

to become me, if little else.

take pains to avoid all heartsick marathons,

pathways to pies in overblown skies; why then, why

is tenacity in such desperately short supply?

forge on? make dogged headway? nose to grindstone…??

yep, that’s the plan, mister; it’s not to be mocked, though,

as if by the comedian’s heckler.

 

repair too much and realize that such drastic

course corrections

often bend toward the pointless and rhetorical;

slipshod attempts to romanticize the irony

and to appear heroic, intrepid--

even gallant (with that pretentious french pronunciation) ---

yeah, all of that.

 

to find any manner of self

that embodies reformative, sensible ideals may be

too much of a fleeting concept,

requiring way too much humility and tact

to foster a glimpse of

“success is mine (or is it hope?)”

 

victory? a better me?

not quite. . . . no, not yet. . . .

perhaps, in time, i’ll be observant enough,

or at least be trying, to see ‘that’ self

in the distance.

              

dan © 2014

Music: "Netherlands," by Dan Fogelberg

Author's Note

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we hope experience makes a better us....and we think back on so many passion plays we directed in our lives, only to find fire and rain...and ? would frost again ask, which way would be better to die?

i guess either way, there are those of us who will die a poet's death....whatever that is.

[dan]

jacob, For me this is like a carrot on a stick theme; I will never get to where I want to be because my goal keeps staying one step ahead of me. But at least I'm not trying to find ways to make myself more lowly than I am. Your comment is well played, the point is well taken. As always, thank you for your read/review. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

I really liked this poem.
"victory? a better me?
not quite. . . . no, not yet. . . .
perhaps, in time, i’ll be observant enough,
or at least be trying, to see ‘that’ self
in the distance."
I understand the above lines. You made me smile this afternoon. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[dan]

Thank you, John for your kind words. This was a hopeful exercise in soul-searching and it really made me feel good after finishing it. I posted it but didn't feel it would get many reviews...and it didn't at first. I posted it in the "UnReviewed" bin just to get a better idea if my words touched anyone like they did me. I appreciate your review and constant support. Thank you sir! take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

usually i am not a fan of wordy poetry. I like concise and raw, unfiltered if you will. HOWEVER i really think you needed all that was presented in this. I feel as though it added to the flow and move of the piece and really created a stream of conscience vibe that i really liked.

I love pieces that move you to think about your own life and decisions.

[dan]

Crystal, Thank you. I chose to open myself up like a book in this piece, more of a self-exploration and, yes, stream of consciousness piece than anything else. A bit cathartic, outpouring of thoughts and feelings wrapped in hope. Thanks so much for the kind words. take care...dan

[B]

The battle of change

Of moving above obstacles with oneself and the world

Love it

So good

[dan]

Nisreenaa, Thank you for your kind words. Very much appreciated. take care...dan

[RiverRei]

I used to be able to write poems like this. Such amazing content and description...even the length. I can't seem to get myself back to that and I miss it. Very well done, though, Dan. I always love reading your work.

[dan]

River, Thanks so much. This piece that I wrote is so raw and unfiltered that it was as if I opened a vein and wrote it in my blood. It may be a bit rough and edgy but I wanted it that way. But hey, don't think that you can't "get yourself back to that." The way your development as a poet is going I believe your talent's trajectory is sky high and soaring higher with every write. I think your writing has as high a ceiling as anyone on WC. Keep writing, my friend. take care...dan

[RiverRei]

Wow thank you Dan, you're so sweet :) Take care!!!

[~]

Dan,
sometimes the most difficult thing to do as a poet is to leave a poem just be.. we want it to be immaculate, or this and that.. IT wants to be itself, it wants to speak in hushed tones or loud screams as it pleases. :) Peace your mind! :D

[dan]

ms, Thank you, I intentionally wrote this piece in a conversational tone, I wanted it to appear raw and unvarnished, straight from the heart to the keyboard. I've made minor changes to it since it was written, but this IS the way I want it. Some people HAVE questioned me about it, both here and when I posted it on Starlite Café. Thank you for your vote of confidence. take care...dan

[klarity]

Having read your most recent work, I can definitely say there has been an evolution since this writing. This poem is less sculpted, less worked on, so much more raw and truthful!
The way the words are written and the questions asked reveals how unsure one can be when searching for his true self. You might get lost along the way but you'll eventually get there, bit by bit.

[dan]

Klare, I like your interpretation on this piece. It IS raw and truthful but the real truth is that I worked long and hard on this piece. I wanted it to be less sculpted, more of a conversational tone because this quest of mine is an ongoing process; this is actually a work in progress. Thank you so much for your feedback. take care...dan

[klarity]

Oh yes I never doubted that you had worked long and hard on it ! The result is exactly what you were looking for ;)

[Not here]

i like this poem, and i especially liked: victory? a better me?
not quite. . . . no, not yet. . . .
great write!

[dan]

Thank you, david. I do appreciate your read/review and your complimentary comments about the write. I'm feeling a bit better today (way less manic), so I will probably get to your Ten City later. Thank you for your patience. Keep writing, sir! take care...dan

[Michelle Coleman]

Your poetry always has so much depth and raw honesty. Which is why I love your work so much.

You ask why there is a lack of tenacity while at the same time explaining the common place laziness of society as a whole. Finding the higher self requires too much humility and tact. Thankfully, there are those off us who do make that required effort. Even if it comes in fits until we learn how to be consistent.

I enjoyed this piece a lot.

[dan]

Michelle, Thank you, a little stream-of-consciousness self exploration with sights set on self improvement. Have I gotten better as a person? I'd like to think so, but I'll never get to where I want to be because if I DO, then my goals will expand even further. I'm always glad to hear from you and hear your insightful observations. Thanks as always. take care...dan

[Michelle Coleman]

It's okay to have expanding goals. 😉

[MsJewel]

a wonderful introspective write with so many layers Dan...and the metaphors are brilliant. I found the last verse inspiring...perhaps not a better me now, but definitely in the future..

great writing my friend

:) Julie

[dan]

Julie, Thank you so much for your supportive words. This piece really means a great deal to me. Thx again. take care...dan

[....................]

We all chase 'the better me' and most never really reach it. This may be cliche, but it's the journey of chasing a better me that I love the most. I don't know if I really ever want to reach my goal for it would be the end of the chase and I do love a chase. I love your last lines and that is how I want it to be:

perhaps, in time, i’ll be observant enough,
or at least be trying, to see ‘that’ self
in the distance.

I am the hound and my better self, the fox... it is a sly one!

[dan]

FT, I agree that I will never reach my goal because if I do ever reach it, new goals will be set and I'll be the bunny forever chasing the carrot on the stick. I'll never be able to reach 100% of my potential; if I do then this happens (to quote a line from Fogelberg's song); "where do you go when you get to the end of your dream?" This song dovetails so nicely with the sentiments in my write. RIP, Dan Fogelberg, love that man's work. take care...dan