catch me, i'm bleeding

when a love is lost tragically, the beating heart begins to drip

raw joy imploding, tracking

grief toward love lost (raw);

sudden, encumbered

and marked by blight.

 

enamored by memory,

gone now, replaced by

blood, staining bright.

 

falling into sharpened

thought, falling until

caught.

 

dan © 2015

 

Music: “Shadows,” by Lindsey Stirling

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rafy T.Nym]

It's really surprising how only few words can express such intense emotions. 'Replaced by blood, staining bright'- it's a great imagery, while reading this I could imagine the pain almost being visualized. Overall, a beautiful poem, a poem that I enjoyed reading. ( Lindsey stirling is a wonderful violist, her music matches the poem perfectly, :-) )

[dan]

Often times my writes seem a little verbose, so when I can do less-is-more with my wording to get my idea across I jump on it. Thank you so much for the great review. take care...dan

[.]

Now here is a poem that really resonates with me. A brilliant piece, Dan. It is so hard to stop the bleeding too, isn't It? A great read, well done.

[dan]

Doodley, Thank you so much for the kind words and thoughts. Bleeding can lead to loss of life, so thank you for breathing a little life into this wonderful review. take care...dan

[jesserose99]

This is so different Dan, I had to read it a couple of times to really catch the meaning...but I love the originality of it. 'falling into sharpened thought' I mean come on...that is beautiful. ;)

[dan]

Thank you, jesserose, I'm honored by your kind words. You would know from previous writes that sometimes I let my mind light up to wax philosophical. I have been told many times before that the meaning escapes the reader. But I want to thank you for trying as hard as you did. Hopefully it touched you in some meaningful way. take care...dan

[Alisa Js]

This one is intense! Both emotionally and poetically speaking...

Thank you for sharing...

Alisa ;-)

[dan]

Thank you for your insightful review. I just reviewed one of yours as a way of saying thanks again. take care...dan

[Amber Lily]

To me this explains the seconds right after you see the loved one perish or catch the news. The bright memories of that person now covered in blood. Nothing could make the heart heavier. Great work here :)

[dan]

Thank you, Amber, I really value your opinions on my writes. You have a kind of perception that sees through the clutter and sees instead the idea contained within. Thanks again! take care...dan

[Amber Lily]

To me writing is all about the content and the messages hidden within. Your most welcome Dan :)

[dan]

I know, I think I need a leak-less pen or else write more about bleeding. kidding.....Thank you, lynn, for your kind words, I always appreciate your reviews, so PLEASE send me read requests? So I can review your great writing? I'm looking forward to that day. take care...dan

[...]

Your pen bleeds the loss of love, boldly dripping upon your page, dear poet

[dan]

I wrote my comment back to you in the wrong damn place. My late 50's sees me doing more dumb things than I ever did before, and trust me I've done A LOT!! take care...dan

[Kelly Scheppers]

I never thought of a lost love as "bleeding", as a "beating heart beginning to drip". The loss you convey here is more than emotional, Dan...it truly is consuming.

[dan]

The loss referred to is a microcosm of all loss of total love, how oppressive...emotions falling out of an open wound. Thanks so much for your review, always so appreciated. take care...dan

[WhiteWillow]

Few words said, and so much pain conveyed. Beautiful piece.

[Carbon Muse]

I love music and it added atmosphere to the poem.

Loss is such a deep emotion ... maybe it is so we cling on to what we have and try even harder the next time. No matter how hard we try though, when love is lost, it brings our world crashing down around us...

[dan]

Thank you so much for your analytical review. I appreciate your feedback! take care...dan

[dan]

I'm sorry I was so short with my thank you. (relatives here, my grandson Kroy saying "if you say I love you I'll quit biting your leg"...kidding...I wanted to write more before because there aren't that many people who like the music I include with my writing. I am passionate about music, my life has its own soundtrack. This was a difficult write to find suitable music for, but Lindsey Stirling is a match for almost any thought. Thanks again for your kind words. take care...dan

[Carbon Muse]

hehe, gona miss my brand new niece ... she's moving to the coast :'(

The music adds spice to it, yet those who prefer not to listen can always mute it ;) If it wasn't for the tendons in my fingers, I would still be playing music rather than writing but I am kinda enjoying it so in a way I am glad I decided to "switch".

Creativity's ultimate goal is to have others enjoy what you create ... but one should never forgo the pleasure it gives one self either.