Kisses and Late Night Thoughts

half true, half fictitious

I once met a boy in the dead of winter who called me beautiful while he himself had the face of an angel. I called him a liar, and he said to me, “I don’t care what you think about yourself, you can’t change my mind.” In that moment I knew why snow sticks to the ground- it throws itself onto the one it loves until it has built up the courage to kiss the ground and they become one, and I saw myself as the snow as it stuck in his hair, and I wanted to kiss his cold lips and warm them up. I loved him in a way not even novelists could capture in a novel let alone a chapter, which is all I seemed to be in the end. I loved him with my soul, but my heart was frozen in the cold, and I did not kiss him. All around us the snow was kissing the ground and us but I couldn’t.

With the first rain of the new season, I saw the flowers blooming in his eyes. He made my ice heart melt when he held my hand for the first time, along with the ground beneath our feet as we walked, bringing the world back to life as we did. He called me beautiful, I laughed and squeezed his hand harder. I looked up at his radiant face and his pursed lips as he waited for an answer. I could’ve kissed him, but I didn’t. Instead I said, “Thank you.” It was a time of rebirth after all.

Last year on my sixteenth birthday which falls in the seventh month, he came to me in a dream. He called me beautiful, and I couldn’t accept that compliment, for all around me trees were green, flowers were blossoming, and the sky was a blue that couldn’t be described. I looked into his ocean blue eyes, eyes in which I wanted to drown, and said, “I’m not.” Not even in a dream could I muster the courage to let us have but one mere kiss, not even then did I allow my heart to let him in.

He is the reason I learned to smile, and the reason I learned to play in the leaves, even though it was considered ‘childish.’ Red, orange, yellow. These are the colors we waited to see all year, and I, I am a leaf for I fell in love with his smile once more, but even as he called me beautiful, I was unaware that he had come to see me as I see myself. He got angry more and more and eventually not even the sound of my voice was enough to calm him down. I was no longer like a safety net, waiting to catch him as he fell into my arms. I couldn’t kiss those lips that had once called me beautiful and now allowed lies to pass through them.

His smile is still ingrained in my mind, but so is the frown when he saw me last, the lies in his eyes as he called me beautiful, and the honesty with which he left. And so, my heart froze once more.

Reviews

[streetrose]

I've been in the same situation. The emotion was so shattering and vivid. The flow and word choice were superb for the piece. Nice work, and thank you for sharing :)

[child of God]

Yet again so much emotion in your work it is so beautiful I love all the metophors they make this peice stand out among others out of all the poems I have read on this site I never read a plan with such beautiful metaphors you are truly a wonderful poet I would love to see more from you posted to my group thank you for joining it is a plesure to have you in the misunderstood poets group 😇