Lines in a Poem

Lines in a Poem

 

A touch a sigh a whisper.

Heard and felt in the lines of a poem.

 

When I close my eyes I can feel your kiss.

My heart beats fast in moments like this.

 

My mind is filled with thoughts I am not able to have.

 

My body yearns for a touch of your fingers.

My lips are dry, longing to have yours pressed against mine.

 

My body aches knowing you will never lie next to me.

My passion is brought to climax, it ebbs and flows knowing I can’t have you.  

 

It’s the price of pain I will pay, willingly giving it all away.

I know it is wrong to feel this strong about someone I will never meet.

 

But take heart if you wish us to meet.

In my dreams we will be.

Reviews

[fwvalidus]

Good poem, very simple yes, but solid. It's a good piece of writing. I challenge you to write a poem with greater density... by that I mean try to invoke more emotion with fewer words. I find that the message in this poem could be delivered quicker. But I would prefer an equal length poem with more power due to carefully chosen words. Thats how I see it, very good though.

[ron]

Thank you. I will accept your challenge.

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
You'll know when the right one comes along, Ron. She will be as you - wearing her heart on her sleeve, her feelings in her writing, and love in her expression. :)

[ron]

I hope so. I can only hope.

[dw817]

Keep the window to your heart open. I know that hurts sometimes but that is in fact how I met Rose. What followed was a whirlwind, not altogether delightful but dizzying - definitely dizzying in it's flight. :7

[ron]

I will try David thank you.

[dw817]

Sure. And sometimes a light helps. Think of it like this. We often do not understand why we light a lamp in the darkness when we can see well enough ourselves ?

The light is seldom for our benefit - but for others. Please never forget that.

[ron]

Thank you David. I understand it more than I wish to some times.

[Me]

beautifully romantic, enjoyed :) x

[ron]

Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed my poem.

[FlatLineBeauty]

A forbidden fruit... That always makes it a good read

[ron]

Thank you.

[Keith]

A sad situation to be in, we felt your pain in this one Ron.

[ron]

Thank you Keith.

[SyberRose]

Nicely penned Ron...we always seem to torture our poor hearts with someone we are not meant to be with...
I'm sure you will meet the right lady for you...the one most deserving of you...Rose:)

[ron]

THank you Rose. I hope so :)

[Sami Khalil]

The hopeless romantic at his best...Thank you for sharing powerful poetry...:)

[ron]

A hopeless romantic has a painfull life. Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

So true...You are welcome...:)

[RainDancer1997]

Wanting to be with someone we can never have. I actually fell in love with someone I had never met. Words soften the heart:) Great job loved it!!

[ron]

Thank you.

[shallimarRose]

Ron will I ever get here first LOL you seem to have fans.. This is a very beautiful poem you have written. It feels kind of lost in the moment.. I liked how you did it all in couplets with that main theme right in the center all alone..
"My mind is filled with thoughts I am not able to have"
Emotional words from your heart as always my friend. shallimarRose

[ron]

Thank you Rose. Its hard to love the one you are not with.

[shallimarRose]

Yes Ron or be with one you don't love or no longer love.. ? Always my pleasure to read here Ron.. shallimarRose

[ron]

That is even lonelyer.