Instructions

Instructions

 

So I got something I am supposed to put together, a set of metal shelves…

-sighs-.

So the instructions are in some language that not even the Military could decipher.

 

So as far as I know…

Slot “A” should be inserted into peg “C”…

Wait how can you fit a slot into a peg?...Get a hammer, now I got it.

 

So slot “A” is bent, twisted, and soldered into peg “C”. YAAA!!! I’m making head way…(no that’s not a sexual position…Is it?)

Now take some nuts (no laughing that’s what it says) and put them in a bowl of cherries…

Oh the cherries are a lubricant…-smiling- I’m getting good at this.

 

Now attach the screws (stop laughing) and slide them into the holes (I said stop laughing this is very serious work I’m doing) "smiling-.

Lubricate with the cherry nuts…(ok if you’re not going to be adult about this you can leave).

 

Now with you rubber mallet (that’s not a sex toy) hit the screws so they twists over the nuts counter clock-wise (stop laughing) …I guess only in the U.S. its righty tighty lefty loosey.

Now take a break…oh this came from France J

 

Now after the break have a glass of wine…(that makes sense to me)…wine break…

“Why doesn't anyone love me boohoo”

 

OK wine break over.

 

Now reinsert pegs “B, A, D, and B” into…(wait so I have two “B” pegs?) "Sighs-

slot “A” and remove peg “C”…(Don’t ask but somehow it makes sense).

 

Now tilt at a 93.5867 degree…(are you freaking kidding me)?

I’ll just plum the damned thing…(knock on the door, it’s the French Embassy they want their shelves back).

 

-Sighs- I should have just gone through political channels it would have been easier.

Author's Note

For anyone who has had to put anything together using instructions.
Update...I put the shelves together with a few extra nuts and bolts left over.

Reviews

[Matching Socks]

LOL! I love a good laugh! Thank you!
Nice little bit of light humour there.

[ron]

Thank you Ance...I really have a set of metal shelves to put together.

[Matching Socks]

better get crackin' then, put that beer down...

[ron]

I fianly got it put together :)

[Matching Socks]

Take any wrong turns?

[ron]

Nope, but I do have a few nuts and blots left :)
But it's all together.

[Matching Socks]

I wouldn't sit on it if I were you. Just sayin'. :)

[ron]

Why not? :)

[Matching Socks]

I dunno. I got nothing... In case it collapses?

[ron]

Hmm that could be interesting to feel...just saying. :)

[Matching Socks]

Hush-a, hush-a, we all fall down...

[ron]

Lol........

[Matching Socks]

I knew that would crush your mood. :)

[ron]

Oh? And what mood is that? :)

[Matching Socks]

I'm gonna go write something. :)

[ron]

Lol...I can't wait to read it.

[A. Amos]

Now this was seriously mind blowing:) truly enjoyed the read...

[ron]

Thank you Amos. I think my head hurts more after writing this one lol.

[A. Amos]

Imagine about our heads, if we were that smart you think sitting here:) you're most welcome

[Konigin]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The greatness of this poem has exploded my brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

[ron]

Lol...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to explode your brain.

[Konigin]

Its okay. XD It was just SO awesome....... :P :D

[Lyn Anderson]

This is very funny indeed. Two things, since I am that stickler for details. nut's probably doesn't need an apostrophe and freaking is missing the A:)

[ron]

Thank you.
So "freaking" has two "A's" ?

[Lyn Anderson]

No, you have freking near the bottom

[ron]

Oh got it. Must have been the "Red Dress poem that through me off. ;)
Thank you I will correct the malfunction.

Sorry I have been watching Star Trek Voyager.

[Lyn Anderson]

Correct the malfunction yes. :)

[ron]

Lol...I will comply.

[ron]

Alright 7 of 9 :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Gotta admire a man who takes "instruction" so well :)

[ron]

"I will comply" will only get you so far :)...but it will get you a lot.