changes

notes from my iPhone, march 4

out of nowhere, 

i have started to feel 

i fall in love a little bit with somebody else

for the first time in a very long time 

yesterday’s boy had chestnut hair almost as long as mine

and a long roman nose 

he only said two words to me

but that was enough 

the day before that 

it was a national parks employee 

with wavy, bleached blond hair 

and the kind of grin that suggests my mother wouldn’t like him

thursday’s boy 

was a canadian exchange student 

sitting next to me in the computer lab

with the warmest brown eyes ive ever seen 

this is so new and alien 

like a door has been opened behind the scenes

and suddenly this part of me i shut off for so long

has come screaming out 

furiously angry 

and extremely keen to make up for lost time 

so every day

i fall a little bit in love with somebody else