gag

I genuinely developed a gagging problem due to the amount of stress I was experiencing my senior year both from school and at home. it was like the only way my body could get anxiety out

I wake up every morning and I gag

I don’t know what I’m choking on

some days it would be really bad

like really really bad

I wouldn’t even make it out of bed

leaning over and spitting onto my floor

I think I might be gagging on the day

my throat feels like it’s turning inside out

i know I won’t throw up, I never do

its too early for food

I think I might be choking on the morning

its stress too wide for my shoulders

I can feel it resting against my throat

it is far too tight

I think I might be retching at school

sometimes I’ll be in physics and I’ll gag and I’ll have to go spit in the trash

most of the time I don’t think anyone notices

I wonder what they think if they do

I think i might be gagging because of you

your words settle themselves around my neck

I can feel them tighten every time we speak

sharp yells choked down narrow windpipes

I can’t eat the food on the dinner table

there’s already too much stuck in my throat

I think I might be dying

i wake up in dreams gasping

it’s the only time I breathe right

i think I might be dead

my inhaler doesn’t work anymore

I walk around the house like a wisp

you tell me to use my chest

you don’t think I’ve tried that?