Wow. This is a very dark and hopeless look at the world we share. The poem itself is well written but that could easily get lost in the hopeless descent it conveys.
I shouldn't be punished
I've done nothing wrong Innocent victim?
But here I suffer
And sing a sad song Enslaved observer?
All and all, a fine piece that begs the question How the hell did we end up here? Pawns of inescapable pre-destination? Compelling work.
Wow. This is a very dark and hopeless look at the world we share. The poem itself is well written but that could easily get lost in the hopeless descent it conveys.
I shouldn't be punished
I've done nothing wrong Innocent victim?
But here I suffer
And sing a sad song Enslaved observer?
All and all, a fine piece that begs the question How the hell did we end up here? Pawns of inescapable pre-destination? Compelling work.
Ah, and here I hear a voice coming from deep within you. I don't know what experiences you've had in between the writing of this and your poem on the hill. But there is a gap and progress that has taken place. I hope you realise that this has occurred and that you have made strides in your poetic journey.
Posted 15 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
"The flowers are sharp
razor blades" I really like this line because it's sort of like saying that pretty or beautiful things aren't always what they appear to be.
Good flow, though I would have liked to have seen more detail. But I live for detail, so don't take it personally. ;)
Great flow, yepyep the world at times isn't all it's cracked up to be...it's not perfect and neither are we, but look closely and you'll see what seems perfect just hides it's flaws quite masterfully.
I spend a large portion of my days wandering about the lake or out in a forest either drawing painting or writing. I prefer to write about not so much real situations but situations I more so wish wer.. more..