it's ELectric

I didn't know what to think when I first met you. I mean I did, but it was weird. From the second your brown eyes met mine, I knew things would've been different. Everything about your persona attracted me towards you and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Before I knew it, I was thrown into yet another friendship with another boy with another whole set of problems. You were so closed off and mad and I had no idea what to do with someone like that. It was a change from the people I usually talk to but you know, change is good, so so good.

It took me a while to understand the way you thought about things but I'm more than glad that I took the time to get to know you. There's still so much I haven't learned but there's a lot that I already know. Your love for boxing is undeniable just like your infatuation with the famous rapper who speaks a million words. When you talk about these things, the way your eyes light up.. It's just different. Your voice sounds a bit lighter, your smile seems a bit brighter.. It's just different, and I like different.
The fact that I'd stayed up listening to semi-sad songs for various hours every night thinking of you was the first sign of my affection. It was weird, I know but that's how things are with me.. Just weird. No amount of music being blasted into my ears that night would've been able to describe the river of emotions you'd put me through in our short time of conversing. It was thought provoking considering the fact that I was a complete stranger that you'd just opened up to as if I was the one who was different. As if I was the one who was brave enough to look at someone and completely put myself out there to someone who seemed sane.

But I'm glad you did that, I truly am. 

Hearing the many different levels to your voice in just one bus ride, it was just amazing. Who knew someone could've been so passionate about their own thoughts with such confidence along with having a soft sense of humbleness behind it? I thought it was perfect and thinking about it now, I still do think it's perfect. 

That's why I loved listening to you talk. 

It warmed my heart to just hear you go on about everything that pops up into that captivating mind of yours for hours and hours. Even though your words can be cheesier than cheese itself, the fact that those words are meant for me, the corniest girl to walk the earth, just makes everything so much better. Our friendship was better, my life was better, everything just got better. 
And of course there were times where I thought that becoming friends with you was one of the craziest things I've ever done in my life because I hadn't stopped to think about it like I did with everything else... I just did it and that's not me. But everyone has to do something to step out of their comfort zone eventually so I figured that if I was to do something like that, I should at least do it with something I know I won't regret doing later on. And from that day forward, I knew I did the right thing. Because even during the times I should've been on the floor crying over my mistakes with you or sulking about how we'd drifted so far from each other, I didn't do anything because I've never regretted you. It's crazy that I said that and it's even crazier that you now know this but it's true. Out of all the crazy things I've done in life without thinking, you're the one thing that I didn't regret.

But as you know, all good things must come to an end because nothing lasts forever. 

As time evolved and we grew to each other, things started changing. In all honesty, I didn't think consistent stability was a reason to end anything. Things didn't progress quickly because it wasn't even a month of our time and things didn't go crazy because we weren't those kinds of people. We were different, well at least I was. I'd finally started looking at you through a million different lenses; not because that's all I could do but because I was so baffled. Before, you were so mad at these girls for taking advantage of you but now, I didn't know what you were mad at. Everyone just seemed to be an open target if they did something you wouldn't have done or simply said something they didn't mean, and of course that's absolutely ridiculous and unhealthy but what do I know right? I'm just a "youngin". 

And as a young person of today, I never noticed the strangely lethal things you've developed about yourself during our time of absence from each others lives. You've developed this irreversible chip on your shoulder that prevents you from moving in the direction you need to go in rather than the one you want to go in. You were so different and I truly believed that with every bone in my body when I first met you. I admired your gentle heart and your ability to come at peace with things.. So now I can't help but wonder, where did all of that go?

 When did you become so negative? When did you start allowing your anger to take over so you can have the last word? When did you start believing you were the only one who was right? Is this how you're going to spend the rest of your life?

I sure hope not. 

Because if you do, I surely wish the best for you in everything you proceed to do in your life. 

Maybe in ten years you would've read this and had comprehended everything written here and maybe we'll talk again but, I'm not going to hold my breath because if I did... I'd die. 

:)