Translucence

Translucence


I feel it most
on empty summer nights
when I am filled to over-flowing
with a sense
of peace.

There is nothing more to these nights.
there is no heat / no cold
only a startling stilness
that settles over me
like a translucent blanket
(throwing everything into
unexpected clarity)

there is no cold / no heat
only my heart beat
as it pressed inside me

My eyes will close
(whether I will them to or not)
they will close because
the stillness is
so heavy

and yet light enough
to give me the feeling
that

I am about to fly.

My feet are firmly pressed
against blades of fresh-smelling
dew-covered
grass

yet I recognize that the sky
is so much closer
to me
now.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I could simply say a beautiful poem but with your work i can't, your expression of the human condition is so extremely amazing... this has the feeling of someone who worries about future love based upon painful memories of the past and these line

My feet are firmly pressed
against blades of fresh-smelling
dew-covered
grass

yet I recognize that the sky
is so much closer
to me
now.

wow what a way to say that all though you are keeping a cautious outlook you are willing to give love a chance to do you right.

I LOVE THIS but then again when don't I, if you ever put out a book of poetry I am first in line.

[MarcZw]

You�ve written a translucent poem, which is probably the ultimate one can achieve in poetry!

[J. Thomas Parker]

"there is no cold / no heat
only my heart beat
as it presses inside me"

it would have taken me hours to write something this perfect.

[Alesha]

hmm hmm interesting.
i like this, it's very contemplative. and it's non-judgemental, it just presents what is.
i think you could work with the form more though. i'm not sure if the / are the best way to do that, i think it breaks it up although it it interesting. and not sure about the () either. i think it would be nice if you used more unusual pairings of words and verbs, the language here is very simple. like what kind of sky, what kind of light, etc.

[1]

I know exactly what kind of night you mean...nothing better.
Good poem.

[L.t. O'neill]

only a startling stillness
that settles over me
like a translucent blanket
(throwing everything into
unexpected clarity)

Amazing, your words are so beautiful. I miss those summer nights now :)

[Daniel J Wilson Jr]

very beautiful imagery used in the poem and a very nice job describing something indescribable (if that makes sense). I enjoyed it a lot.

[Tony Nesca]

very very nice kara, beautiful and sad and wondrous...love it...

see ya,
tony

[Yira Simone]

This was very good Kara. I enjoyed the imagery and felt you did a very good job of wording this poem. Having this kind of peace settle over you is always something to cherish and hope you get to feel it again in life.-Catrina

[L. L. Jacobson]

Kara, I know it's not authentic of me,
but I duplicate Pierce's review entirely.
BREATHTAKING!

[JlB]

Wow this is breathtaking,

Great job, I love this,
if I end up comming back to read it its definately a favorite.

Jl