meanwhile i keep dancing

i almost died the other day.

as i sat at my desk
i almost died.

my inner anguish choked me
as i thought of all the nights
without someone to hold
and the incessant pointlessness
of so many of the things we do.

i almost died
with the thought of having to live
the rest of my life.

i gazed at that closed door
and vaguely wondered
where the damn window of happiness was
then i looked towards the wall
and saw plastered concrete eggshell
covered with a single piece of art:

"I get up. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."

i recall the falls
but for the life of me
couldn't remember the last time
i had truly danced

and with that thought
i almost died.

and as the squealing sound of tires
screeched from outside the building
i stared at that near-empty, windowless wall
and wondered who would die today
and when that crash
would come.

i waited for metal to meet metal
and for the morbid opportunity
to walk outside
and see the scene.

the wait was so long
i considered dying
to pass the time.

the tire squeals kept sounding
and the acceleration kept increasing
and i vaguely wondered
what the hell is going on...

then came the crash
and i thought 'yup, there it is'
as concrete blocks exploded
and bricks were thrown.
plaster dust covered the room
and the sound of my screams
surprised me.

i was anticipating the crash
yet not expecting the crash
to be me.

and amid all those thoughts of dying
i thanked god
i was alive.

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Youe poems are always so far above me that I struggle to understand. Is the crash metaphorical, symbolizing the death of a relationship or the coming of one of life's many crisises? I guessed relationship because of the use of the closed door. Are you pointing to the hopelessness that we feel at those times when you use the words death, died or dying? The message that I took from this poem, that I read in the final stanza, was that "This too shall pass."

Was I in the ballpark?

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

The deflective thoughts of how you dealt loneliness and boredom perhaps held you from being active enough to see the outside world. Hopelessness is the waning of every human thought as to fear itself. We tend to loss our track to reality, and craving for new things to come amidst our depressions in our life. But going beyond our anxiety, we realize how our life should end immediately, because we loss that track. We didn�t look back, loss the possibilities which in turn to degradation of sane mind, irrational a perception arises! We want an immediate ending but that�s only anticipation because we are still on the hands of consciousness, and that�s hard to defy!

-I felt like I was a psychologist after giving this thought..hehehe�
Don�t scram onto things seriously, they just passes by and never conquers our souls, we move our mind, we control it. Don�t let anyone, or anything evade your sane mind to think beyond rational-reasoning!

PS-Just some of my interpretations! This is great.. It�s going to my faves� list again because I can reiterate all I've learned from our Psychology class (not really); I also have lot of thoughts to share with this for I know I can understand such emotions delved in it.

[Sarah Williams]

The emotion and feeling that this poem is infused with is definately amazing. It's obvious that the feelings which prompted this are still raw...the best time to write, in my opinion. The flow wasn't quite as nice as some of your others, but you did a nice job with this piece.

[Anhedonia 1349]

I'm amazed. I'm going to start this the way I've only started a couple of other things I've read. Favorite.

Wow.

I was engulfed from the very beginning. The second stanza in particular caught my eye, and specifically
i thought of all the nights
without someone to hold
and the incessant pointlessness
of so many of the things we do

[Pierce Franklin]

This is almost exactly how I feel right at this moment.