The Beginning-Part 1

The chapter opens with an old woman telling a story. But not just any story and not just to any little boy.

 Echoes of the Gidat

Chapter 1

The Beginning

 

‘It does not seem so long ago when it all began for this world.  Oh yes, there are more than you can imagine!  They are all very similar to this world, and yet they are all very unique in their own way.  Georia is one such world. 

“The sweeping plains are golden and rich in color.  The SilverMountains raised themselves majestically to the sky.  The valley of Two Rivers is rich with the fruits of their soils, and the sea swells blue and green on the horizon.  Even the deserts possess their own unfailing beauty.  But, I am rambling like an old woman tends to.  You wish to hear the story of Georia, T’Gan.”  The grizzled old woman rasped.

She was clothed in rich blue robes edged with gold braid and her white cassoc tottered on her head precariously as she rocked gently back and forth in a worn rocker.  Withered hands rested easily on the time worn arms.  In contrast, her eyes sparkled with timeless youth. 

T’Gan sat on the floor at the woman’s feet eyes alight with wonder at the legend before him.  Not many received a visit from the Lady.  She traveled near and far to the people of this world professing the Creator’s Word.  But her travels did not come without risk.  The evil King of Sadat was on the throne and hated anything that was connected to the Creator.  It was a great change from the days of old when peace and the love of the Creator ruled Sadat.  It was hard to believe that it was anything different.  Now, before him was one of the last of the living legends that changed the world for the better.  Here was one who knew of the story of Georgia, and he was enraptured.

T’Gan was an unusual boy.  He was wiser beyond his eleven unters (one turn, one year), and was interested in things beyond that of a normal boy.  His cousins were not interested in the Lady.  They were impressed, but they had wanted to play rather than learn the wisdom that sat before him.  He knew that someday he would play an important part in the Creator’s Plan.  This woman was part of his destiny.  She was the next piece in the puzzle he called his own, and so he listened.

The old woman regarded this dark-eyed boy sharply for a moment.  He was definitely different from other children she had encountered, but was he the one she had been searching for.  She had to be sure.  This telling of the Chronicles had never before been told in this way.  It was the test that the Creator had revealed to her in a vision one night.  She had been instructed to do this one final task, this one final journey, and so she must though her bones ached with the very thought taking on such a burden.  Absently, she rubbed her hands together to relieve some of the bone deep ache. 

“Please go on, My Lady.” He asked softly.  How eager he was.  How unusual those eyes were.  Perhaps he is the one, she thought.  But how could she be sure?

She dropped her hands back to the armrests of the rocker.  Had she been that innocent once?  She couldn’t remember.  That young girl was gone a long time ago never to be seen again.  

          “Of course, child.  I have tarried long enough and the sun has already risen past the horizon.  We must not waste time for this story is a long one.”  She took a deep breath as her surroundings faded away into the vision before her. 

 

 

 

 

 

       The Creator had given her the visual record of the Chronicles and being a master storyteller she would describe what she saw to the boy.  She had prepared for this moment, but the force of the vision was still breathtaking.  Shadowed memories of the capital city faded away and were replaced by the Hilltop as it was before Etevun (The Evil One) walked among them, and the greed and avarice of men marred its pristine beauty. 

 

      The Hilltop lay before her untouched and pure with tall spiring trees and lush greenness along the ground.  The GreatRiver rumbled complacently past the stretches of riverbank filled with a multitude of berry bushes.  Groseso (Spring) had just come to the land.  Trees were filled with the first signs of budding leaves, delicate flowers were pooled artfully here and there in a froth of color, and a young child sat quietly in the clearing.

 

Reviews

[Stephanie Allen]

It was an interesting start - who are these people, and what is the place of the story in the grand scheme of things? I'd just watch out for tense confusion when you're using present tense, since you slipped into past a time or two. Also, if you have notes on certain terms, I'd put them in at the end, since slipping them in in the middle of the story disrupts the flow.