Wretched

 

This wretched existence I would live again

If only someday, in that next life

We shall be forbidden no more

From embracing the flames

Of the passion we both feel

The longing we both know

The endlessness of our odes

And all that is left unspoken

 

This wretched destiny I tried so hard to understand

So I made myself believe that perhaps

The heavens were afraid that if we were to be,

We would outshine the moon and the stars

With our elixir of love, a fusion of our dreams,

Enchanted tales and flawless poetry,

The song of my smile and your melody

The same breath of life that flows in you and me

 

This wretched truth I wish to undo

I want to escape from reality to be with you

And we shall live together in our dreamscape

Where no one can hold our happiness in their hands

The scrolls inked with your fate shall be ablaze

And rain’s spirit will wash away the haunting past

Light from the shadows shall be awoken

To tell the world that some pacts can be broken

 

This wretched heart longs for all that you say

So don’t say goodbye and cast me not away

The sun will rise after the darkest night

To tell us, and the world, that we have won the fight

Behind every great love is a great story

And our quivering quill shall chronicle the glory

Of love, beautifully forbidden, nonetheless true

For that, this wretched life I still live for you

 

 

© Maxinne Marie July 20, 2007

Reviews

[Evilsarah]

I disagree with dentro. I usualy don't read poems because of their excess in imagery...it boggs me down. However this poem does not, and I think it can strike a cord with every one. It might not be the best thing ever written, but it's a goodie.

[I.R.]

You use some good language. This poem needs imagery. It is full of abstract words such as love, eternity, heaven. If you can convey those abstracts with images (visual, auditory, tact, or taste). I found some cliches such as the flames of passion and elixir of love. In reality, we tend to perceive life thorugh the senses; even when we're angry, we might notice hints of scents or sounds that we will later use to associate with that emotion, and if you can translate emotions through imagery, then this poem would be more succesful.

[Mariam R]

All i have to say is WOW that was awesome....it makes me wish i had someone to feel that way about. There isn't much i can say about the poem which someone hasn't said already but i'll say it anyway...this poem makes you feel and makes you be able to relate to it. awesome job :)

[William Usry]

I would say that i know how you feel but the poem makes me feel more like it is you who knows how I feel.

Simply a fabulous poem...beautifully dark and introspective. I can't help but be reminded of Poe's Annabel Lee. You present what you're feeling in a manner that is relatable and stunningly real. Awesome job.

[Wulfstan Crumble]

I think this is a poem that we can all sympathize with. This poem is very moving. I can feel it in my heart. While my situations in life have been different i have been in such relationships where love is forbidden or rendered impossible. So, i feel for this. Excellent piece.

[Krystal Waters]

Haunting and moving. Really a great write. The intrict lines, the precise wording, the way your stanzas flowed. Really well done.



Krystal

[Gar Avoch]

Beyond the poem lie feelings which soar beyond the patterns of words
somewhere,
someone,
will accept the offered gift
somewhere,
someone,
will need the lift
and thank you for it.

Thanks

Gar

[Christina Marie]

Maxinne,

This poem is beautiful. . ."I want to escape from reality to be with you
And we shall live together in our dreamscape" - These lines really hit me . . . WELL DONE!

[Erotic Goddess]

WONDERFUL!!! This was so beautiful and sad to me since I can admit to feeling these feelings so often: The heavens were afraid that if we were to be,
We would outshine the moon and the stars!

You have put this to paper in the most lovely flow of words and images. Great job love!

[M J Moore]

How sad and hopeful in the same breath.

Kathryn sent you to me, and I'm so glad she did. You truly do have a way with a pen. Wonderful words. There was a great flow here and true sentimentality. A great read. Thank you for sharing.