Meds.

A semi-coherent rambling of the thoughts of a Borderline, depressed insomniac who has way too much time on her hands. AKA me.

If I sleep, I wake up tired.

If I don't sleep, I just stare at my wall for what seems like hours.

Ever since they put me on these pills, my ability to feel has been seemingly nullified.

I think to myself, surely it's better than before though.

Though I'm not so sure.

Before, I felt. 

I felt too much.

I cried at the drop of a hat. 

I cried when left to my own thoughts for too long, inevitably they turned darker and darker and more morose.

I used to feel the swell of what it felt like to love someone so much it had physical repercussions.

I used to be able to feel ecstatic with only a moderate amount of effort.

It feels like someone's gone and flipped a switch.

I almost blame myself.

I want to gag every time I feel the pill slip down the back of my throat.

Everyone around me says I'm getting better, I'm rational, they can deal with me.

But at what cost?

Author's Note

Merely venting my thoughts and ramblings.

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

The best thing about a vent is the heat goes where it needs too.


I like this

[Maggie Russell]

Thank you kindly :D I do love a good vent.