Lonely Story/Poem

Reality based piece...

Nobody likes you...

Why do you think that?

You're a p***y

What does that mean?

Wanna be friends? Kill yourself

You're taking away my only hope to live...

Worthless and used piece of garbage

Please stop...

If this was the hunger games, you'd be my first target.

What did I do to you?

Have your parents ever told you that you're a mistake?

I'm a mistake, you're right

Why won't you just die!

Don't worry... I will

Reviews

[Zephyr]

Your story/poem articulated the feelings of bullied people perfectly.
The color code is nice and it really worked. The fact that you shift from ordinary ways of writing is awesome.
Keep writing!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Naat :)

[Chase Dylan]

Hmm, the size of the font actually lent to this one in a positive way... Can almost feel the pain sifting through at greater intensity from the down-trodden's responses being made larger... Engagingly penned...

[Mr.Writer]

I also felt all that while writing Silente thank you do much!

[Chase Dylan]

You felt right, you are welcome...

[Farhan Shaikh]

Bullying really hurts.
Their fun cost our belief and confidence.
They take us downwards even when you're lookin towards the sky..
Good job and very well conveyed the message

[Mr.Writer]

That's very true, thanks farhan!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Bullying to the point that the victim actually believes themselves to be worthless, that message you conveyed, came out pretty well. It's pathetic really, 'cause bullies are the ones who need more help than the one being bullied, in my opinion..
I liked your font sizing too. Although I think it would be better if you used another colour, it looks somewhat immature to the mind's eye with such an important message...
Well penned, Shaan.

[Mr.Writer]

Yep bullies need lots of help. I feel like people become bullies after getting bullied themselves. It happens alot in that case. Thank you so much Yumna! :) the color purple lol, it may seem a bit immature, but it actually signifies loneliness in a way. :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I agree on that point.

Hey, no. Purple is the colour of royalty, not loneliness lol but okay 😛
You're welcome 😊

[pia]

This was very interesting to read!!! I actually liked the colour scheme..kept me sorta inclined towards the end

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Pia! :)

[Saud Maroof]

An expression of arrogance, a color of an insolent to whom he condemns as damned, simply modern ignorance. A crime. A petty approach by the weak minded who holds power when declaring his illogical hatred. I feel sorry not for such victims but their oppressors. I pity their disgusting charachter and their need to hate.


I would have rather prefered one color because this scheme confuses me to believe there is more.
Thank you for sharing,

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you for reviewing Saud!
I agree with you and maybe one color would have been better, but I choose two colors to not confuse the readers, as one is the bully and the other is the one who's getting bullied.
Hope it didn't confuse you too much

[Saud Maroof]

I could see that, but still i sometimes look deeper in a piece just to juice all the poet's intentions.

[Mr.Writer]

I really like that deep thinking of yours Saud... :)

[Saud Maroof]

There is no material benefit of such thinking Mr. Writer.

[Mr.Writer]

I know, still, it's nice to know different thoughts of others :)

[Saud Maroof]

"I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled poets to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean." Socrates

[Saud Maroof]

i don't agree with it fully but i agree with it enough, so i often amuse myself by looking for the subconscious aspects of one's poetry. I encourage you to try it.

[Mr.Writer]

Thanks for checking out my poems :)