Morir

Suicide. It's bad. So much worse when you stand there, watching. So much worse when the blame falls. So much worse when...

It was a test

not meant to hurt

never, ever, ever

 

holding out the gun

taunting

“You’d never, never

kill yourself

Raina.

Why?

Why would you

do

this?

d-i-s-t-r-a-c-t-i-n-g people

from what they need to do

selfish.

selfish to kill yourself.”

never meant to hurt

never meant it to happen

laughlaughlaugh

never going to do it!

 

tough love

that’s all it was

to snap out of it

it wasn’t supposed to end like this

it wasn’t!

 

pressing into Raina’s hand

daring

taunting

oh god oh god oh god

so confident she’d get out

no; get out of her funk.

not out of her…

            life

 

steel barrel

forehead

shining sweat

trembling hands

not noticing, not caring

no! I cared!

I didn’t want

didn’t want…

not this.

 

Deafening.

Loud. So, so loud.

Exploding

her head exploding

Raina

d

r

o

p

p

i

n

g

to the ground

oh god oh god oh god oh god

what had she done?

 

“Raina, Raina, Raina”

she had done it

oh god she had done it

I had done it

she was serious

had been serious

oh god oh god

“RAHHHHHAAAAA!”

 

a deformed yell

dropping as well

tears falling into her open mouth

people coming

hearing the shot

curiouscuriouscurious

 

being dragged away

fighting

wanting to stay

see what she had done

watch it all

know that it was her fault

oh god oh god

“RAAAAHHHHHAAAAA!”

wailing.

“raaaahhhhaaaa…”

 

I had done it.

I killed someone.

and killed so many others

who had known her

I was at fault

me!

no! it wasn’t me

no, no, no!

not me

not me

not me

 

broken sobbing

screaming into a pillow late at night

never going to escape this.

Raina.

Author's Note

Please review or rate, it's always appreciated. I love getting criticism, so don't be shy. Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Lucy Green]

Its very intense and amazingly written, theres a lot of conflict and you feel the confusion and emotions that the character is feeling.

[Michaela Briggeman]

I am in...shock. This is the first piece of yours that i've looked at...and it is so... AMAZING. I love the emotion and confliction i got from it. :) So amazing keep writing no matter what, it is definately a talent--one i wish i posessed.. :) so amazing. OMG so amazing! :D okay. After my freakout i'm god now. It takes a lot for me to freak out like this. I do not get excited over anything. You have an intriguing style that i happen to love. :) Keep writing

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

The story is told very well with the attitude and emotions of the narrator coming through strongly. The way it's split with the beat also helps carry it along and drive it home.

[Becky Lawrence]

This is… I just don't know how to describe it. It is written in such a different way, showing all the emotions and thoughts. It's practically perfect. You write amazingly well, keep it up.