Strange

Loud wind,

Ice cold,

Three layers of coats on,

Fog smoking out of mouth.

As I walk down the gray stone road,

I find I creepy house.

Trees dancing,

Water dripping,

Wooden logs broken,

Spiders crawling

I knock the door,

I ring the bell,

“Hello? Is somebody in there?”

Door opens,

Sound creeps,

Window panes bang,

Darkness increase

I look for light switches,

But I can hear only my footsteps,

As I take another step,

I step on a soft thing kept by.

“Meow” the cat sounds,

I scream,

I run out of the house,

And I see the name plate beneath,

‘Mr. Kitty, since 1926 till

Eternity’

Reviews

[Melinda McQueen]

Nice storytelling. It kept me reading!
Good job. :)

[iamshadowine]

Thank you!

[KittiesRulez]

I love the overall tone of the poem, so dark and creepy, but when you added Mr. Kitty I think I screamed too! (I love cats way too much) Anyways this is amazing, you are an awesome writer. Keep on writing! ^~^

[iamshadowine]

Thank you 😊

[Chrys Marie]

I'm unsure but I think this is the first time that I've seen this kind of style from you. Nonetheless, this was really interesting to read! The ending caught me off guard - I was expecting for something terrible to happen but then there was that twist! But I totally have no complaints because this was really fun! Nice job.

[iamshadowine]

thank you!! :D

[Marianne Rose]

Great succinct rhythm, not overly descriptive- just enough to let us see what you see- walk alongside you- like the surprise ending. Moody but essentially left with the though "curiosity killed the cat"- it's good to run when our curiosity takes us into dark eerie places!

[iamshadowine]

thank you!! :D

[...]

vERY MOODY AT GOOD WAY. LIKE OLD JAZZ SONG. HAPPY AND BLUE. AND ALL FRIENDS CAN COME AND REAL TREAT CAN START. I LOVE IT

[iamshadowine]

thank you! :D

[Gee]

Enjoyed this, the ending raised a smile

[iamshadowine]

thank you!!

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice flow of thoughts led the reader to surprise ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[iamshadowine]

thank you :D

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[AliciaB]

This poem is somewhat bizarre, but in a good way. The buildup of the spookiness through the description of the creepy setting is very good. And then all of a sudden there's an... immortal cat? It's funny, but also creepy. "Strange" is definitely an apt title. :) Nice work!

[iamshadowine]

thank you!! :D

[H.L. Cerveise]

I was so seeing the broken-down house, the dark spaces within it. You are fumbling for a light switch and then the surprise ending. A fun and humorous poem and I really enjoyed it.

A couple of things to ponder:
The line, "I find I creepy house" did you mean "I find a creepy house" instead?
The line, "Darkness increase" did you mean "Darkness increases" instead?

If you meant what you wrote no problem. Just some minor things that came to my mind as, I read it.

Well done.

[iamshadowine]

thank you :D