A Dance Apart

This was written for someone that was once very special in my life.

A Dance Apart

 

We never got to dance did we,

yet somehow remembering

dancing in the moonlight

……..with you

feelings deep within

my heart playing a love song

 admitting my feelings

 ……..might have

finally released my soul

if only you'd spoken

in quiet whispers

the glow of your heart

might have unlocked mine

far beyond this body of flesh

deep within the soul

sensations might have

mingled in the wind

and we could become one

but for now we remain

just a dance apart

 

©  bj smith

aka shallimarRose

 

 

 

 

For more shallimarRose Poetry titles visit my table of contents in my blog...

 

Bits of Me...Table of Contents by title...

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jack...]

This is so sad sweet Rose and I know, because I know this feeling well. Wanting to say something, express feelings but holding back for reasons unknown...longing for that dance and hoping it is not the last. Your poem has taken me to a grassy spot along side of a still lake at night with a three quarter moon glistneing on the water. I can hear the music, I want to dance, but don't. Very sad indeed.

[Antoñyo]

OmG...pretty darn rare that I can't write a review till the lump in my throat subsides (and no, not j/k) ...
and I just discovered something: finding that exceptional piece here...you know the one, that separates itself...is like a winning casino moment in which a soul-deep cha-ching! goes off and all the bells, flashing lights and sirens blare and course through every vein...Okay, perhaps that's just me...well the mid-life crisis thing never arrived so I'm good with my flakey side! ;-P
A favorite, for sure! Thanks for this, Rose

[shallimarRose]

Awww you're so freaking sweet Antonyo. I thought I commented on this earlier but I am having a heck of a time getting my computer and WC in sync. Thank you for stopping to read and your very generous review.. Bells, flashing lights and sirens? lol.. Ok ill take that as good sign.. xo Rose

[Antoñyo]

...aw i forgot the whistles, too!
Just being honest. For me, this was all that and a bag of chips with ice cold Pepsi! ...in the desert, no less!!

[shallimarRose]

ok I might have to give you a couple of more huggs then.. You are too kind. thanks Antonyo..

[Ruth]

This touched my heart deeply, magnificent!

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Poppy I am glad it moved you...Rose

[Michael G. Smith]

Ah, the timeless art of love in dance captured here. A few observations from a friend. A comma before did we. Third line what about waltzing to keep repetition down and twelfth line heart's aglow to keep rhyme going. Idk, what do you think?

[shallimarRose]

Thank you MG for reading and for taking the time to critique.. I see what you are saying with the comma. That is my mistake. It is the question mark that should not be there . It should read "we never got to dance did we. In line twelve your suggestion wouldn't work I don't think because the feel here is "the glow of your heart

might have unlocked mine"
Never stop giving me honest critique and pointing out errors. I appreciate it and it helps us to grow. Often I will take a suggestion right away. xo Rose

[shallimarRose]

Oh and I actually meant for that to be repeated.. We never got to dance did we, yet somehow I remember dancing in the moonlight with you. I think the line breaks sometimes hinder me.. thanks again. Rose

[Frieda P]

Sometimes we don't connect on a deeper level, we dance around it. You pen'd it so aptly shallimar, bittersweet tune you've elegantly played here.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Frieda. I actually wanted to put some kind of sweet sad song behind this one but my computer is acting up.. thanks again, Rose Oh and you are so sweet to call me shallimar. I know when we met I told you that was my preferred name and it was but I am comfortable with Rose also now .. hugs

[Lydia Shutter]

You transported us into that moonlight and allowed us to be the voyeurs. Communication is at the heart of any relationship. Without it, might have beens and what if haunt people forevermore. Very well written, Rose. Lydi*

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

I really enjoyed the concept of this piece. It was engaging from the first line, to its last.

[shallimarRose]

I know the rr can get over whelming sometimes so thank you for taking the time to come here and read mine.. Rose

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Its always a pleasure to see one from you.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you ((hero))? Poetic? lol you have a name? There is a lot in my archives.. I try to bring what I can.. I am not myself but trying to catch up.. xo Rose

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I understand... and yes, I do have a name. lol My name is, Travis.

[shallimarRose]

Oh cool I can remember that.. I end up with so many brains, mikes and steves lol.. Thank you Travis. Rose

[BL]

What could have been and what might be offer tantalising thoughts in our minds and can occupy us for hours with the various outcomes that may or may not have arisen. I like the element of hope at the end, maybe there is always time enough for love

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Bluely for taking the time to read .. xo Rose

[BL]

Always a pleasure

[SyberRose]

I could feel this...the yearning and the regrets of what could have been if only...thanks for the RR Rose.
Enjoyed as always...:)

[shallimarRose]

You're welcome Rose.. xo

[bobc]

R...really, really liked the ending...well done...bobc

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Bob .. xo Rose