Waiting for you

My first poem on love.

Wishing I could get a glimpse of you.

I long for nothing more the whole day

than to see a smile on your face for something I say.

I don’t ask for too long, a few hundred hours would do.

 

Hoping I could hold your hand.

Take you around the park, around the flowers;

you would rest your head on my shoulders.

Violins would hum soulful tunes in this blessed land.

 

I long for that day when I could call you mine.

Our families united, our bodies united, our fates blessed,

you would look the prettiest bride, like a goddess you’d be dressed.

I don’t want to ask for much of your time; a lifetime would do just fine.

Author's Note

Now I am 'Waiting for you' to ...

Reviews

[richieb]

Ashan,
Well written words expressing a young man longing for the attentions of a young lady. It is hard to find originality on this subject but I enjoyed your creativity. Your expressions showed the depth of the young man's desires.
Richie b.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you very much Richie

[Davy Galloway]

I love how this poem can connect to mostly everyone because when you meet the person your meant to be with you want to spent your life with them.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Davy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love the "hundred hours" and the "lifetime" parts especially...

i like to see other males show a sensitive side---we often put up walls for show...and it keeps us from many relationships that could be so good.

[Ashwin Shanker]

In my experience, I feel there has to be walls erected at the right time, and sensitive side shown at the right time as well.

aand yes, the parts you mentioned are also my favorite parts as well.

[Tabby Mac]

A heart undressed, beautifully expressed!
I'm reminded of my heart waiting, and my minds impatience!
Makes the reward of true love all the better!
I hope perfect love makes haste for you!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Haha... I hope for the same too.
Thank you for making haste to write a review.
For... Admirers are many, lovers are few.

[Tabby Mac]

This is true!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Its fancy how love brews ;)

[Tabby Mac]

I admire you! ;)

[Anindita Janhabee]

This is so sweet...
with such a longing....
aww... I wish this to come true for you one day...
Human has only one heart and that one thing belongs to only one soul... When you find it, it becomes your soulmate.......
Soulmates, even after departure, are together... forever...
this is the miracle of love...
patience is all that Matters....
wonderful poem sir...
thanks for sharing...!!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Anindita.
Actually, I was inspired from an Urdu song, later shown in Coke studio... As I was planning to write a new poem.
I did not write this for any particular girl that I know or something ( Though I could use this ) hehe...
Thank you for the review.
P.S. Unless I have been knighted by the queen of England. Please don't call me Sir. :P

[Anindita Janhabee]

Haha... well, okay... that's good..
and okay, I won't call..

[Ashwin Shanker]

Ha
haha... call call... Its okay... Whatever is cool for you .. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wIRNkE0uXY

This song is my inspiration