Not Stupid

a poem in iambic pentameter

I once was stupid, so I thought

Until I left my mother’s home at last

And then no one was there to tell me so.

 

Until again returned I, summer tide

And heard her through the bathroom door: YOU’RE DUMB!

The flare up? I had clean forgot a tin,

A garden bucket in the patio

 

Then Tom appeared one starlit night

We spoke of Freud and so much more

And so began a grasp of my bright mind

And Mom? Contrite? She opts to disremember

Author's Note

Thinking of my mom today as she, at 91, is in a cardiac intensive care unit. I've forgiven her for telling me so many times that I was stupid. She loves me and my siblings but it's been difficult to have a meaningful positive relationship with her. I also forgive myself for resenting her. This is a poem I wrote when I was taking classes at Boise State University.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

To quote an oft repeated movie line from Forrest Gump, "Stupid is as stupid does." I think we all might deserve the mental, emotional or physical deprecation at some point. But though, we might deserve it, it certainly isn't polite of others to point it out! I try to inspire in my own children a sense of self-worth and responsibility, personal integrity and a love of learning. The criticism of parents is the most awful sort of emotional abuse. If a parent can't guide, teach, inspire and correct without being overbearing, insensitive and demeaning, then I would venture they are more deserving of the insult than the recipient. My wife is a brilliant woman but was adopted at an early age and demeaned by her adopted mother. So I've witnessed firsthand, the sort of emotional baggage such parental idiocy can incur. Her mother is still alive but their relationship is likewise strained. Wishing both you and your mother some peace and reconciliation. I enjoyed the read. Bless, F.

[barleygirl]

I've always said that fierce self-honesty is at the core of the best writing & here it is, both in your poem & your author's notes. Thank you for being so honest, it gives other writers courage to be (((HUGS)))

[Shelley Warner]

Thank you for that, I was just reading some Longfellow poetry this week and thinking, "And I call myself a poet?"

[no tell writer]

Wow, this is powerful and emotional. Sometimes it is hard for me to communicate with my Mom, she has alzheimer's and it is sad to see her like this. I try not to argue with her, it makes me sad that she can't remember things, I tell myself patience all the time. I love her to pieces and hate to see her suffer, ii can feel this write....

[Shelley Warner]

That has to be so hard Katzie. Thank you for reading and thank you for sharing.

[Lydia Shutter]

Often those in the last years of life forget the pain they caused others when they were younger. They rewrite history. Unfortunately, children do not come with an owner's manual and many people are not equipped to deal with adolescents and young adults. I am glad you have come to terms with your relationship. I am sorry your mom is so ill. Tell her all you want before it is too late. Lydi**

[Shelley Warner]

Thank you Lydia and thank you for reading.

[Dave Brown]

'They' say talking about our problems helps to overcome
Congratulations to you for going that one step further
Unfortunately the parent/child relationship can sometimes be difficult but I'm sure your children (?) have never had to suffer that put down

[Shelley Warner]

Thank you for that review. Now I'm raising two grandchildren. One is very difficult. It's really hard when she's cussing me out but I don't use the S word.

[Chris Shaw]

So damaging to use language like that to children. Bound to cause hurt. Forgiving her is a positive thing to do on your part even if you can't forget what she did. Thank goodness Tom came along who gave you a different perspective altogether. Felt some hurt here Shelley.

Chris

[Shelley Warner]

Thank you Chris, I appreciate it.

[Kerra]

I like a writer who talk about their life, it shows you're not afraid of saying this is who i am. We musn't forget who we are or where we came from. I hope your mom will be okay.

[Shelley Warner]

Thank you Kerra, and she is improving which surprises us all. On Monday, we thought she was dying, but it looks like she'll pull through.

[Kerra]

My grandma lived to be 95 we were blessed.

[Shelley Warner]

I'm glad you were blessed with her long life.

[Coyote Poetry]

Dear Shelley. We must be careful what we say. The children will remember. There is a lesson in your words my friend. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Shelley Warner]

Thank you for your thoughts Coyote. Yes, I need not repeat her mistakes.

[Coyote Poetry]

We must learn from bad examples dear Shelley and you are welcome.

[Ruth]

Ah, I understand such a complexity...forgiveness is a noble and healthy way to accept and move forward but certainly not easy to do...this poem makes me feel a familiar emotion, all too real - thank you for reminding me forgiveness is both ways in such a situation :)

[Shelley Warner]

And thank you for reading Ruth.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Sometimes it is hardest to forgive ourselves...it would be hard to forgive someone who has done this to you over and over.
We try so hard to please our parents and it hurts the worst when they treat us with such disdain.
Whom do we have if we don't have them in our corner?
brave poem....
j.

[Shelley Warner]

Thank you Jacob. You can bet this is a poem I will not share with her.