Numb

When we feel numb enough to not feel hurt...

Numb

 

When I was little,

I never understood

How the world

Used to function.

Twisted and rude…

And I was always

Rejected by it.

Rejected in love,

In friendship

And by family.

 

It was getting lonely

All by myself.

I used to often,

Think about the things

I might talk about,

When I made friends…

But that only made

My sadness grow by

Leaps and bounds…

No one to talk to,

No one listen to,

No one to lend a shoulder,

When times turned dark…

I felt empty

And the void,

Consuming me…

 

So I made up my mind

To try and fit in.

It was a foolish dream.

A fool’s errand.

But, back then, it meant

Having the company

That longed for

So desperately…

It meant that this loneliness

Would not haunt me..

No, not anymore.

Or so I thought…

 

I tried to get along,

Laughed at things

Just ‘cause they called it funny,

Never talking, only listening…

Listening to them making

Fun of me behind my back.

I was caught between bullies.

And I had nowhere to run to.

 

I wanted to escape!

To break free from their

Chains of friendship.

I was living a nightmare,

And they were the ghosts there.

I was scared to lose

The friends I had made…

But could even call them friends?

 

I had made a mistake

Of taking purgatory for paradise.

I thought, I might as well,

Take a chance…

A chance of letting them go.

So, I Ran Away.

 

Soon, all the pain and hurt

Was gone…

I neither cried nor complained.

Just endured it all alone…

But this silence,

No longer hurt…

 

And even today, as I

Live surrounded by so many people…

I wonder why they all seem to know me,

And yet, we are like strangers…

But it doesn’t hurt anymore,

Because this silence speaks to me…

No, it doesn’t hurt anymore…

Because I’ve become so Numb.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Well, that's another set of feelings into words. Please do review.

Reviews

[1Disawsum]

"To try and fit in.
It was a foolish dream.
A fool’s errand."

AND

"I had made a mistake
Of taking purgatory for paradise."

Wow. Simply wow! Breathtaking, one that uses every word to flow and keep the poem going. Not one word is simply used to fill in the space. And every word has its own special reason of being there.

I wish I could become numb to the hurt and rejection, but sadly it never goes away! But still a very true poem, as the world, well, it's not a nice place. Only Disney movies make it seem like that! You've written a better poem than me, talking about the nastiness of the world and its occupants!

GREAT JOB!!! Well done, you did yourself proud xxx

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot 1Diawsum! I'm sure your poem was better by a huge notch.... atleast that's what I feel! :)

[1Disawsum]

Nope, definitely disagree with you on that! haha but thanks anyway xxx

[Moonlight]

You are welcome!

[closed]

the ''ghost in the shell'' complex

and so we stand alone
with only our pens in hand against the shallow currents

nice write

-Dream

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot :)

[HOLyP]

I like it. I can relate to the numbness that represses any feeling including pain and the comfort that it brings. Good job!

[Moonlight]

I'm glad my feelings reached out to you... thanks a lot! :)

[Cool Girl]

Very true... I can te you wrote from the heart:)

[Moonlight]

YUP! That one's from the heart... thanks a lot! :)

[Cool Girl]

Welcome! :)

[Daisy]

wonderful poem.... and true also....

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot Daisy! I really appreciate it! :(