She breathes; the roses smile

She breathes; the roses smile

A Poem by Augustus

She breathes; the roses smile
Her lashes flutter
I stay entranced; No thoughts,
No words to utter

She is; the sky is blue
And the sun must shine
I know that God exists
For she is all mine

She isn't; for a while;
And the Earth is bare
Naught for me but to chase
Shadows through the air

She's everything and more:
My words are weak
My molten heart is flowing
Why must I speak?

The eloquence of Souls
Is a Lover's Gift
To bridge unfathomed  seas
And to heal the rift

Armed but with crumpled blossoms
Torment I must face
And fight my fear with fragrance
From her endless grace




© 2012 Augustus


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Featured Review

I have been avoiding rhyming poems since all I've seen lately are a mesh of cliche and bad diction. And this was a welcome sight! I've been trying to understand rhyming poems (I'm currently reading the works of Edward Thomas) and this certainly was a refreshment.

The poem's beginning stanzas have got such eloquence. My favorite was:

She isn't; for a while;
And the Earth is bare
Naught for me but to chase
Shadows through the air

I was disappointed, though, because there weren't any enjambments from one stanza to another, which would have contributed to a better flow. And I found the ending stanza was not really genuine. Perhaps if you could reword 'grace', everything will be much better. Just my humble opinions. Feel free to ignore.

Keep writing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Augustus

10 Years Ago

Hi Dinesh! You had to pick my least favorite poem to review! :P
I'm very pleasantly surprised .. read more



Reviews

There is something courageously pure about your writing and I absolutely love it!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Augustus

9 Years Ago

Thank you! :)
I have been avoiding rhyming poems since all I've seen lately are a mesh of cliche and bad diction. And this was a welcome sight! I've been trying to understand rhyming poems (I'm currently reading the works of Edward Thomas) and this certainly was a refreshment.

The poem's beginning stanzas have got such eloquence. My favorite was:

She isn't; for a while;
And the Earth is bare
Naught for me but to chase
Shadows through the air

I was disappointed, though, because there weren't any enjambments from one stanza to another, which would have contributed to a better flow. And I found the ending stanza was not really genuine. Perhaps if you could reword 'grace', everything will be much better. Just my humble opinions. Feel free to ignore.

Keep writing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Augustus

10 Years Ago

Hi Dinesh! You had to pick my least favorite poem to review! :P
I'm very pleasantly surprised .. read more
Wow, what a beautiful moving piece. You had me entranced from start to finish. This really moved me. Thank you so so much for sharing!

Posted 10 Years Ago


For a moment after your beautiful begin stanza

I was lost in this feeling, and flow, (in positive sense)
Till your ending was so strong again...

"Armed but with crumpled blossoms
Torment I must face
And fight my fear with fragrance
From her endless grace"

Just a fantastic piece my friend,
I shall read more. Thank you for sharing.

- Elisa

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Augustus

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much Elisa!

10 Years Ago

My pleasure, I have missed reading your words! :)

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376 Views
4 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 27, 2012
Last Updated on July 27, 2012

Author

Augustus
Augustus

Cambridge, MA



About
My name is Shreyas Gokhale. I have a PhD in Physics from the Indian Institute of Science and am currently a Post-doctoral Research Fellow at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. However, I guess.. more..

Writing
Polyphemus Polyphemus

A Poem by Augustus