Scars of Rejection

You ignored me my whole life,
I spent all those years alone,
In tears.
Wondering, thinking, imagining.
"Why aren't I good enough?"
"Was I not worth the years?"

I never wanted more,
Than to see your face just once.
To know the truth of all the lies,
To have a dream come true.
The days I spent in solitude,
Thinking only about you,
Writing of my pain,
Wondering of lies and truth.

I finally found you,
Through all those indirect letters.
I saw your face,
That I had only seen in long lost dreams.
I didn't know what to expect,
Not many storied were told of you.
She didn't like to speak of it,
But would I have understood by any means?

You tried to be my whole life,
Like you were always there,
But the aura I picked up,
Scared me away at first.
The question I asked,
"Why were you never there?"
Came with an answer to end it all,
"You're mother was my curse.

Now I'm only angry,
He had no good reason.
He drove by me every day,
But never stopped to see me.
He never wrote,
Or even called.
His words mean nothing now,
What would they anyways?

I don't cry anymore,
I get furious with anger.
What feeling was worse though?
Neither makes me happy.
To suffer a life worried of rejection,
To be scarred forever because of what one did.
He ruined everything,
And he was never even there.