Did What I Wanted.

I swept through the darkest nights of all with tears in my eyes and cuts on my hand,

Banded cuts on my wrist, twist of rain streaming down on my face,

Fear of  losing you while I was busy walking though the bright days with darkness in my life,

A knife in my hand and blood on the arms,

I did none other than surviving through the so called “Best years of my life” that ended in a wooden case.

Reviews

[KWP]

Strong subject matter, dark so dark!
My suggestion would be for you to read it aloud more than a few times to see how the words roll around within the form. Poetry for me, dark or not should still be able to be read like a lullaby, ask yourself if it reads this way to you and if now how you can change some words around, get rid of words and alter existing words so it flows.
:) hope that helps x

[Simran Kewlani]

It will help. I will do it. Thank you. xx
(:

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

sad strong and deep piece. Blessings my friend

I swept through the darkest nights of all with tears in my eyes

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you! (:

[kublakhan27]

Stunning and necessary honesty...this takes us to the places that most of us either don't understand or flat-out refuse to acknowledge. So often it's the cover of the book that gets judged, and this is the part of the story that never gets told. Kudos for this powerful piece :)

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you. In so glad you understood the meaning of this poem.

[A. Amos]

Simply splendid, dark and profound...enjoyed the read and thanks for sharing

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you and you're welcome, (:

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Very powerful, and sad. What an outstanding write!

Kaze~ :-)

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you Kaze. I so was waiting for your review.

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Hahahahaha! :-) Your very welcome.

[Jack...]

So very sad, but all too often reality. At times it may seem the only wayn out, but we do have choices...we just need to want to see them. I do agree with Frieda below, but still a very nicely written piece of sadness.

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you Jack. I appreciate that a person like reviewed my poem. (:

[Jack...]

You are very welcome. It was my pleasure.

[Frieda P]

Ouch this one hurts to read. Last line is killer, no pun intended. ;-)

Think the first and second lines are rather redundant, change up your words for it to be more affecting, imho anywho. Good read Simran. :)

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you Frieda! (:

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is so hearth wrenching.Sometimes life is so hard but it does get better.You just have to survive it one day at a time:)

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you Vidya! Your reviews help me a lot to write a better poem next time.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome and thank you for the lovely compliment :)

[Simran Kewlani]

You're welcome.

[Vidya Bacchus]

....................:D