I Feel..

This is a poem for that one person who broke me down and walked off.

I feel so broken,

I feel so dead,

I need to be mended before I tear,

Tears and heart breaks swallowed me down,

Keeping no distance between me and my grave,

The fear is increasing,

The power is decreasing,

Nothing I have left since my courage is dead along with me.

Reviews

[raj24]

i really like these stuffs...heart breaks...i really enjoyed mine..i thought i have improved but i got it again...it breaks you..and makes you a new person... thats where i feel writing your heart out makes us believe in ourselves..i am enjoying reading your work..i hope to read more...write soon..:)

Raj

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you. There sure is more coming up. Don't worry. It'll be there by tonight or tomorrow. :)

[Saddam]

The fear is increasing,
The power is decreasing,
Nothing I have left since my
courage is dead along with me.

This is a universal rage..... Nany people think when they find themself at down, including me. It is very but obviously a negetive thought. Hamare charo or positive energy ghumti rahti hai. We must collect them and forget what happend but think what may happen. But some scars always remains in heart as 'Shool'.
A beautiful form of poetry. I like that.

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you! (:

[KWP]

I like the last four lines. I feel there is too much repetition in the first three. It is in my opinion the job of the poet to portray emotions through descriptive words and metaphors.. saying 'I feel' simply demands the reader to acknowledge how you feel, if you changed these words to allow the reader to take the journey with you I believe it would be delivered with more attachable emotion.

[Simran Kewlani]

Okay. Thank you. (: I"ll figure it out.

[KWP]

xxxxxx have a great day chick xx

[Simran Kewlani]

You too. xx

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is so sad and angry Simran.You portrayed these emotions so well :)

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you Vidya. I just knew you would have known while reading it. You've known me enough to get that right. xx

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome hunny.You wrote it very well ,don't let anyone tell you different :)

[Simran Kewlani]

..... You're sweet. (:

[A. Amos]

Felt your angry mood in this write:) enjoyed

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you. I'm glad you did.

[yash]

Nicely done, but still could 've been better as per my thoughts. Still good work...

[Simran Kewlani]

Well, it was just a thought. Written in anger, It is just a simple thought. Anyway, thank you. (:

[yash]

Guessed it!!

[melissa]

This is a sad poem but you did amazing job writing this poem keep up the great work and keep sending me more to read i love reading them

[Simran Kewlani]

Thank you Melissa. (:

[melissa]

You're welcome