Open your eyes. Close your mouth

You're so close, but yet so far. We have never been here before. You are alive, but yet you're dead and some may wonder how that is, and I look at them with sadness in my eyes because for once I know what that means. I lost you in a sea of emotions trying to protect you from what I thought you didnt know, but in the end you knew all along so you killed me off to be sure I couldn't be near you anymore.
You live in my dreams, and they're so vivid as day. I wake up missing you, but remember that day you looked my in the face and said "I dont want you in my life anymore" the heartache was real. I cried for countless nights. I blamed myself for what happened, and I held onto this anger that I no longer have. I accepted what it is, and for that I feel lighter.
You're no longer alive to me. You may walk upon this earth with heavy footsteps and hate banded on your heart, but I will walk with gentleness beneath my feet and flowers growing upon my heart.
I thank you for showing me that I can survive even the darkest most painful moments of my life.