Fatherless

an english teacher with experience

with appearance 

with something that none of the other 

teachers

had

an english teacher with care

who cared about students 

here and there-

we were freaks, we were 

we were lonely, we were

an english teacher who brought me up

who complimented margin doodles

and 

whatnot-

an english teacher who told me 

I'd do great things one day

don't let it slip away

one day

an english teacher who made me to believe

that I was somehow special, so

stop greiving-

start believin-

start the beat in-

an english teacher who called me a flower

who called me a jewel

who called me an example-

and I saw him like the father I'd always wanted-

little did I know that 

an english teacher who had more than a hundred students

a day

had no time to feel the same way-

I was just another among the class-

so no matter how many tests I managed to pass-

I was not special, never would be

never could be 

I was not clever, at least not as clever as those before me-

I was not something I wasn't- something he built me up

to be-

there were others that he taught, just like me

there were others that he sought, some more than me-

didn't matter if I drew or wrote really well,

I was under the illusion, the trick, the spell-

that someone like me could ever matter

that someone like him could ever care for

someone like me, without a father

someone like me, a common daughter

an english teacher who taught me to believe

that no matter how much I beg for the father not a martyr-

it wasn't an option, it's not part of the charter-

daughter without a father 

father figure was a lot farther from me

and though I breathe

I'm dying inside

can't you see

I'm alive

I'm not livin 

an english teacher who made me care

only to leave at the end of the year

who saw through the facade

only to remain silent-

daughter without a father figure

wanted a teacher to be a father figure

only the kid across the room, and the one next to him, 

we all wanted the same thing

we all wished the same dream

and there wasn't enough english teacher 

father figure

movement starter

to go around

we were freaks

we were lonely

an english teacher we left behind

we were fatherless