Vibrations in the Observations of an Acid Head

The cord

is a tail

to the chair

It strings our voices

into the walls

Shadows scream in

in twisted shapes

They echo

They echo

silent pleas

A silence
that shakes
our
reality
loose

Everything is melting

into
    scarlet glue

The carpet
unyielding

to
infinitesimal flames

Bedrock.

Whispers given

none received

Alone? Yes.

No...

A shadow shifts.

Mine? No.

Yes?

Tumbling spoken things

crawling towards the gyprock

That animal
staring

smiles like the face
that belonged to my head

yesterday...
or was it last year?

Reviews

[Plagued Monumentally]

I've always been a fan of that gray background you use (was it you that always had that in your poems? Not sure, but anyways). I never would of guessed this was a concrete poem if OT hadn't said anything. :P I really liked how you used all those interesting words like: "infinitesimal flames", "unyielding", and "scarlet glue". I thought those were really thought out and creative and they made the poem that much better to read.

My favorite lines would have to be either:
"Whispers given
none received"

or

"That animal
staring
smiles like the face
that belonged to my head"

Those stood out to me the most because they had an eerie feeling about them when I read it. The poem was very nicely done, and I couldn't expect less from you. Thank you for the read request, it was definitely not a waste of my time.

[LivingDeath]

This was an amazing poem shen. As abstract as it is, it all seems to make sense in a way. Maybe it's just me.. I dunno. But anyways, your use of words in this piece is perfect. I'm not just saying that because I'm a friend either. This is one of my new favorite poems. I will read request it to all my friends so it gets recognized.

Back to the poem.. You more than anybody else knows about my past, the paths I went down that hurt me and everybody around me. Thankfully thats all over, but this piece does sound like an acid trip. From personal experience, it reminds me of times when I was on acid... Losing track of time, seeing shadows, staring at yourself in the mirror for long lengths of time because you think that your reflection is its own person.. Silence echoing, etc..

Very, very good poem. This is one of my favorite poems I have read. I love the abstract, yet wholeness of it. Amazing.

(btw this is the longest review I have ever given lol)

[OT]

ooo a concrete abstract poem - now there's an oxymoron waiting to be used ha - as always you have wonderful images to twist your words around - "gyprock - bedrock" - and "scarlet glue" - nice!

[Tasha]

I really liked it, I loved the flow and the structure. Great job.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Nice symphony...... good flow of the fingers and string..

[bobby]

good changes ;)

[Rae]

Very... abstract. I like it. Keep writing!!

[bobby]

The toothpaste? That made me fall off the page. Way out of the blue! but...Everything else was fantastic from the first line..then the second so on...And the shape you gave your poem twisteding emphasized the direction I was being led. This seductive worm hole. It would seem as though you were describing a computer and the means we communicate. I may be off there but at least you gave me something so beautiful, full of imagery and fascination. Subliminal voices conversing. Great you are!!